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phrases ben refuses to acknowledge:

i’m gonna blog that!
does this matchy match match?
if i accidentally forget to come home tonight, will you let daisy out in the morning?

if any of these are uttered from my mouth, he instantly stops listening. brothers can be so very annoying. if it weren’t for the garbage removal and heavy box lifting, i would repeat above phrases over and over until he curls into a ball and cries for our mommy.

i’ve been banned from his apartment tonight for asking him if my pink vest and pink purse are too matchy match match. well, maybe there is something i am forgetting to mention. i walked in telling him just how hot my ass looks in my new jeans, when i realized there were others there. and not just any others. home teachers.

wait wait, there’s more. last sunday i noticed he wasn’t leaving for church. being the concerned big sister that i am, i went over to remind him (fine, i wanted to watch a movie over there). he was upstairs so i yelled to ask him if he was going to church. “no, i’m going to get some lunch instead”. being me, i yelled back that he should stop choosing food over god. it was then i heard a nervous girl giggle. a real one, not the ben girl giggle (ak can back me up on that). why is it that i always manage to offend his friends?

there really ought to be a signal. not just for when they have girls over, but practicing mormons. if he is excommunicated soon, i will take all blame…..proudly.