Contact

go here to read my party girl column!

i woke up this morning to an inbox full of emails asking how my valentine’s day date went last night. you can read all the details in my column next week, but i will tell you it was “super”! thanks to everyone for the great emails!

This last weekend brought the party circuit.  I was invited to three parties in one night.  I’m cute, young, and fit.  I could handle this.  Or so I thought…

Party 1

A friend recently remodeled his home and invited friends over for drinks, good jazz, and hors d’oeuvres.  I knew I was in trouble when I realized that besides the dogs and a few plants, I was the youngest living thing in the house.  When I was introduced to the host’s parents, I wondered how long it would take until I offended them.  I didn’t.  I was impressed with myself but also and the parents for not openly hating me.  They were obviously good people.

Party 2

A friend decided to host an anti-Valentines Day get-together.  It was a party I wasn’t about to miss this.  Upon first inspection it seemed like any normal social gathering.  Cute pink cookies and a chocolate fountain complete with mounds of dipping food.  After taking a closer look at the cookies, I noticed each had a saying.  Forget the I Love U sayings, these edibles were printed with the likes of MILF, Pink Taco, EZ and No Back Hair.  Brilliant and delicious–now this was a party made for me!  I ignored the blatant sexual innuendo and laid a couple pink taco cookies on my plate.  They may have been crude, but they had the word pink on them.  Plate full, I socialized my way to the group playing video games.  I’ve never been much of a gamer.  Little Sarah played Pac Man and Frogger on the family Atari, but, this party had a Wii and I needed to see what all the excitement was surrounding this little device.  One bowling game and I was hooked.  Not only am I a better bowler in animation, but also I didn’t once drop the ball.  I did, however, secure the controller to my wrist to prevent damaging the television and or myself.  I’m a downright klutz and not even a graceful one.  I also loved not having to wear the ugly community bowling shoes offered by Ritz Classic Bowling.  

I couldn’t help but think maybe there really was something worthwhile to this gaming lifestyle.  I could learn to become one with my inner geek without having to give up my pink shoes.  Unfortunately, that thought was quickly dismissed when two guys pulled out plastic guitars and started playing Guitar Hero.  I appreciate any chance to sing along with Warrant’s Cherry Pie.  The guys playing the game/plastic guitars had genuine skills.  Sadly, karaoke wasn’t a part of the game so my attention was quickly lost.  I watched my future as a geek strum away.

Party 3

My younger brother was having a party and wanted me to drop by.  I’ve known a couple of his friends for years, and it’s always nice to see them.  When I walked in I was instantly overwhelmed. Everyone looked exactly the same like they were in some sort of party uniform.  Damn near 80% of the guys there had short blonde hair, silver hoop earrings, dark jeans, and tight black shirt covering their muscular chests.  I suddenly felt like the old creepy sexual offender and had to look away.  When handed the obligatory plastic red cup of an unfamiliar substance I asked what it was.   One of the clones told me it was a “Hop, skip and run naked.”  After seeing it was mixed in a plastic bucket, I had instant flash backs of jungle juice in bathtubs, and politely declined.  With age brings neurosis.  I can’t drink something that is mixed in a bucket.  I faked a yawn and bailed 10 minutes later. 

After feeling too young, not geeky enough, and too old all in one night I decided it’s time to branch out and find a different party circuit.