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The Travesty of Transformers—What really happened to Captain America

I held out as long as I could but it was inevitable—I saw Transformers last weekend. I had certain reservations about seeing the movie. I hated the cartoon as a child.

I have four younger brothers, so when it came time to pick what we watched on television I was always outvoted. Stupid Democracy. Rather than watching Barbie and the Rockers, I was stuck watching Transformers. Bitterness breeds hate.

I finally gave into a friend who’d been asking me all week to go see the movie. He bribed me with candy and air conditioning. It worked and I found myself stuck in the longest movie since Magnolia. Don’t get me started.

Had my friend mentioned there were jets in the movie I wouldn’t have taken so long to give in. I’m a sucker for jets; F16’s to be exact. I’ve always loved them, and after dating a flyboy I’ll always be fond of all things Air Force. Captain America is a jet pilot and every time I see a jet my heart leaps, for more reasons than the excitement of the jet.

I have regrets.

Breaking up with Captain America is one of those regrets.

I was faced with the decision between an ex-boyfriend who was suddenly ready to commit and a very short, very new relationship with Captain America. In a classic dumb girl move I picked the ex (who’d previously broken my heart) over the new guy who showed amazing potential.

Months later when things didn’t work out with the ex-boyfriend I realized I still had feelings for Captain America. I called him and we got together for drinks. In a brave move I told him I still cared about him and wanted to date again. Like every cliché movie, silence filled the room. Those few seconds until he spoke felt like an eternity. Once he did speak, I wanted the take it all back. He‘d just started seeing someone and he wanted to see where it was going.

Although I was crushed, I was still able to see the irony of it all. Really, why would he break off things with his new girlfriend for one who’d left him before? Obviously he was smarter than me, and was able to learn from past mistakes and not follow the same path of poor decision-making I had. As much as I wish things were different, I couldn’t fault him for that.

Now as he’s getting ready to move out-of-state I can’t help but question, why am I not the girlfriend going with him? Not that I would, but still.

Every woman needs the story of the amazing man that got away to share with girlfriends over a bottle of wine. Captain America provided me with just that.