That's What She Said–In Utah This Week
November 6, 2008 at 9:46 AM
This week’s installment of “That’s What She Said.” A letter written to our future White House occupant–before, of course, the election took place. Change=pink, people. Now let’s stop with the hateful comments OK? This blog is supposed to be fun, and frankly the hate takes the fun right out of it for me.
Comments
You forgot to ask for the national beverage to be named as Crown Royal…
Hey POTIS, what’s happening? Yeah, listen, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday, see our country’s in a bit of a bad situation right now and we need to play a little catch up on the global economy. And, you know, our reputation isn’t so hot after Hurricane W came through here, so I’m going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too. M’Kay? Thanks.
(And naturally that should have been POTUS.)
“skinny is the new happy.”
That would explain why I’m depressed.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
So…if smart is the new skinny and skinny is the new happy then does smarts=happiness. If so you should totally start eating sugar again while you do math homework.
Dearest Sarah,
I could not help but overhear the conversation you and the future President of the United State had, and I must say I noted an air of flirtatiousness which flusters my jelly-thrusters quite rashly if I do say so myself.
I understand that you are not ready for a relationship after the damage a certain Troll-Deficient Action Figure did to your heart. And, as patient and enduring love goes, I am willing to wait till both you and I are old and crusty, and our juices are naught but cakes of powder. Such is the nature of love unconditional.
But to meet this stranger for coffee, in a city miles away from my watchful eyes upon your blog? To ask him to pay, no less? And do it all right in front of me?
Oh! Cupid’s arrow hath a poison-dipped tip, and the venom of jealousy flows through my veins till both rigor mortis and rageful mourning defeat me.
Would that I were ebony as you so desire! That I could afford such a suit as he wears; that my voice which trembles in operatic vibrato were powerful and strong as his own; that I had a place of power as he does! But alack, I have naught but my love, war-torn and mired, and the promise that you may have not one, not two, but nay thousands of puppies in any White House you desire.
🙁
Dear Sarah,
Aside for picking the calendar hotties, what were you going to do for your country after your wish list of: pink, wine, chocolate, girly girl and coffee is granted? I am confident this new administration will grant everyone’s wish list. Congratulations.