Sperm Thief
Last Saturday was my office holiday party. Since I didn’t have a date lined up RLO was kind enough to accompany me. He immediately began to regret this decision once he saw his dinner place card:
I thought it was a clever little joke, but in hindsight I can see why people assumed we were married. For example, while making small talk a co-worker’s husband asked us, “Do you guys have any kids?” RLO quickly replied, “No, but we’re trying.”
Since the guy didn’t know RLO was kidding I cleared things up by explaining that RLO wasn’t my husband, or boyfriend, but just my very close friend.
Just when I finished explaining RLO muttered, “But that hasn’t stopped her from trying to steal my sperm.”
Um, awkward much?
The guy looked a little confused and I couldn’t really blame him. I thought about explaining how I constantly beg RLO to be my marriage back-up plan. Or how I asked RLO for a vial of frozen sperm as a birthday present, you know, just in case I decide I want a baby one of these days.
Instead, I let the conversation drop. It’s sort of uncomfortable discussing future sperm donors over dessert. That’s more of an entrée conversation.
Comments
That is so freaking funny!
Wow, that’s most definitely an entree converstation if I’ve ever heard one. And only if the entree isn’t something gelled or slippery. Too close for eating comfort.
I think the name tag is clever. Arlo. Very clever.
RLO’s new favorite band:
http://www.petersmgmt.com/sickofsarah/
Ha! I love RLO, have no idea who he is but I love him!
I had my work Christmas party over the weekend too, open bar, my kinda party!
Oh dear lord! I’ve got my company’s holiday party coming up in January, and not sure who to bring. This makes me think I might go alone, which I NEVER do. LOL. Thanks!
You know, you and Rlo had a very similar conversation in front of me while eating cheese fries. It didn’t embarass me enough to keep me from eating the whole plate, though. Perhaps you could step up the gross factor next time, you know, for the sake of my ass.
That is too funny.
The frozen sperm would be quite the gift!!!
Can you two just get married already?
I echo Amy….
Nice name card. Laughing so hard.
I wish I had sat at your table. This conversation would have been 10x more hilarious. I’m sure.
My date also told my table we were engaged. You should have seen Tara’s face, she was so excited for me. Sadly, I had to let her down.
I can’t believe Rlo won’t donate his sperm to you.
Those would be one good lookin kid!
Hahaha. No wonder you like him so much. “No, but we’re trying.” That was really kind of him to include himself in your plans for the back-up-future.