Toxic Gas is ALWAYS an Appropriate Gift
If you’re going to give someone a housewarming plant the appropriate thing to do is name it after yourself. You want the recipient to have a constant reminder of your amazing generosity. When the gift is from two people you obviously have to give the plant a celebrity couple name.
The problem is that when you combine Sarah and Susan you get Saran. Not only is it pretty much still my name, but it sounds exactly like the toxic nerve agent Sarin. Actually now that I think about it Sarin is fitting. I have been called a weapon of mass destruction before so may as well stick with the familiar.
Plus the name “the hot blond girls who drink all your wine and boss you around” is way too long and just not as catchy. Sarin it is.

Now all that’s left is hoping the plant lives. And the boy.

Comments
I see Saran, I think Wrap. As in Saran Wrap… stifling,clingy, protector of all things in the fridge. Not the toxic stuff at all… must be all that fancy book learnin you been doin.
You could have been SuRah. Or SuSah. Just saying… But Saran works too.
Nice photo. I really wanted to keep that plant for myself. I hate being so fucking giving.
So happy for the addition to your home, and also to know I’m not the only freak who names inanimate objects.
I like Susar. Hail Susar!