My Vagina is a Green Party Hero
Did you guys watch the Neil Diamond TV concert last night? If not please lie, because otherwise you are dead to me.
I was so excited about the concert that I picked out a special couch outfit, which is code for tee-shirt and underwear. I couldn’t decide on just one shirt, instead I chose two and switched halfway through the concert. I did, not, however switch underwear. It seemed like a waste of a clean pair. I’m single-handedly saving the environment with my vagina.
First half:
Second half:
After watching the concert I decided Neil should be my BFF. I mean we have sooooo much in common–well except for that wrinkly old man part. He’s Jewish and I work out at the Jewish Community Center. He has a pink sparkly shirt, I have four. OK, so the similarities stop there, but that doesn’t mean the BFF-ship should stop. It’s perfect timing since RLO is practically worthless to me.
(When your BFF falls in love he suddenly become an idiot.)
(RLO didn’t tell me he was in love, but he also didn’t tell me he was Canadian and he totally is.)
(Canadians shouldn’t be allowed to fall in love and ruin lives.)
(So maybe RLO didn’t ruin my life, but eating at the pub isn’t the same without him.)
(Enough about RLO. He pisses me off anyway. Neil Diamond DOES NOT piss me off. Neil Diamond is perfect.)
Comments
I am glad I’m not the only one who picks out couch outfits. And I’m basically thanking your vagina for the water I’m drinking this morning, since you saved a load of laundry. Nice work.
I would totally vote for your vagina on the Green Party Platform. Especially if she promises to deliver more Neil Diamond concerts. And pink, sparkly t-shirts for the poor.
Who is Neil Diamond? There was a concert? I missed it, probably because I was too busy eating the perfect quesadilla at the Pub with RLO. Or not.
Sarah, I love you even more after reading this. and I thought I was the only person in the world willing to admit that Neil is my true love.
I bet Neil Diamond would eat at the pub with you. You can just tell that about him.
Remember muscle guy from my hospital? He’s in a Neil Diamond Tribute band, and he’s totally willing to be your new BFF.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks Neil Diamond is perfect. And I didn’t even have to lie!
Maybe you should have a reality show and find a new BFF! You are totally hotter than Paris so I think this could really be pulled off. All the nerds could apply – you could make them do demeaning stunts (but this time in pursuit for the bff title as opposed to doing it just for fun)! Oh I’m calling VH1 RIGHT now!
Doesn’t he have a green vagina too? I kid, I kid please don’t shoot me. And no lie, i did watch his concert.
I cannot believe that you own more than one Neil Diamond tee.
I LOVE THIS DAMN POST!
MAN, I have a lot to catch up with you on, looks like!