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My life is a series of embarrassing moments. Today’s embarrassment is brought to you in part by a tube of lipstick.

Normally I’m not a lipstick person. If you open my purse you’ll find Hello Kitty glitter lip-gloss and my standby Dr Pepper Lip Smacker. Shut up, it tastes good and the color is pretty. Today, however, I wore real lipstick. Not necessarily because I wanted to, but because my DP lip-gloss was missing.

I forgot about my heavily made-up lips and went to school.

As I was leaving the paid parking lot I put the parking slips between my lips. I needed both hands to rummage through my bag for money. I handed the parking slip and a twenty-dollar bill to the middle-aged parking attendant. The guy who flirts with every day, which I blatantly ignore. He looked at the parking slip and spotted what looked like an intentional lipstick kiss.

“Oh Sarah, thank you for the kiss. I wondered when that would finally happen.”

Oh God.

This sucks on so many levels. Now, in an effort to avoid him, I’ll be forced to park in student parking. Which is good, I guess, since I drove off without my change. College educations are so damn expensive.