Why I’m Never Eating Vegetables Again
Me: What did you do with your hair when you cut it off?
Dirty Nerd: I gave it to my mom to fertilize her garden.
Me: I donated my hair to freaking cancer kids and you donated yours to a crop of vegetables?
Dirty Nerd: Yes and they were delicious.
Me: OH MY GOD, you ate your own hair!
Dirty Nerd: It’s not like it was a bunch of carrots with hair growing out of them.
Me: YES IT WAS.
Dirty Nerd: Sarah, your logic is broken. The hair decomposed and fertilized the plants. It’s not like hair actually grew on the vegetables.
Me: Of course the vegetables grew hair. You ate hairy veggies… no wonder I call you Dirty Nerd.
Dirty Nerd: You’re missing a little part here called THE FACTS.
The conversation ended there because I was so busy laughing over a nerd lecturing me about facts, you know because nerds are so fact oriented. Ahem, time travel, space cowboys and super heroes. Yeah…