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When KCPW announced Jenna Bush would be in town for part of the station’s Forum Speaker Series, I mentioned it to Ben. He has a huge crush on both Bush sisters. And while I’m no fan of the Bush family I’m a huge fan of KCPW, so we went.

Bush spoke about her time in South American with UNICEF, reading from the book she wrote about a young woman she met who was born with HIV. During an especially moving moment Ben leaned over and asked, “I think her boobs are probably a C cup. What do you think?”

I hushed him, but it was useless. He didn’t listen to a word she said, instead stared at her boobs the entire time–only stopping long enough to tell me her poor-fitting skirt ruined his crush.

On the way home he informed me he’d be spending his time focusing on Barbara from here on out. He then called every family member in his phone to let them know his very liberal sister attended something that could be construed as pro-Bush.

I love Apple products, but absolutely detest The Apple Store. So much in fact, I drive clear out to the ‘burbs to visit ExperCom whenever I need help.

A couple weeks ago Maddie and I were shopping at Gateway and decided (after much pleading on her part) to go inside so she could get a laptop case. Since I was already there and had to wait in line with her, I figured I might as well pick up a much needed pink sleeve for my iBook.

I got home and found it was the wrong size. Which was sort of annoying since the salesperson helping me had looked up the exact dimensions of my computer and recommended that size. But whatever, I knew Marky and I would be down there the next day so returning it would be no big deal. And it wasn’t, I walked in and traded for what I was promised would be the perfect fit for my treasured Stella James.

Again, I got home and it was the wrong size… still way too big, and isn’t the point for the padded sleeve to be snug? When Ben and I went to see a movie a few days later we stopped to return it. While processing the return I asked the salesperson what it would take to get a sleeve that fit my computer. He looked at me and said, “You have to buy a new computer.” I laughed, but quickly realized he wasn’t kidding. “So you’re telling me I have to spend $2,000 to get a $30 sleeve to fit?” “Exactly,” he said. I wanted to tell him how ridiculous he was, but by this time Ben was getting the worried “My sister is going to FREAK OUT” face, so I let it go.

Since I refuse to buy a new computer it looks like I’ll be sleeveless this winter season.

If Ben had a house fire he’d grab two items before running out the door: his baby blanket, and his MC Hammer/Vanilla Ice album. Seriously. As an afterthought, he may go back for Vegan Joe, his roommate. But only after MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice were safe.

Ben let me borrow this cherished CD last night, with the promise I’d return it in exactly one weeks time. I’m going to listen to the wise(?) words of MC Hammer and hope for Christmas gift inspiration. I have a difficult time buying for other people. Attempting to find the perfect gift stresses me out. Ben, however, is easy. Obviously I’ll be buying him a pair of parachute pants.

Our Thanksgiving dinner was amazing, even if we did forget a green salad. But as Ben said, “It’s just filler. Why waste stomach room on salad?” The entire day was so much fun, even the parts where I learned stuff from Arlo… like how to make gravy. Ben and I made the mashed potatoes, Mormon style–which means lots and lots of fatty ingredients and a Book of Mormon on the kitchen counter for luck.Unfortunately, AK ended up out of the country on a business trip so he wasn’t able to be there in person, but thanks to Skype video he was able to supervise our activities. He didn’t have a lot of faith in our kitchen skills and made sure we knew where the fire extinguisher was at all times. No, seriously.Mrs. AK, however, didn’t need any supervision. Her turkey was perfect! Can’t wait until next year!

My family ditched me for Thanksgiving, and left me with the responsibility of finding Ben a suitable place to spend the holiday. My mom took his threat to eat at Village Inn seriously, which is rather silly because it’s much easier to order Chinese food, and Ben is all about easy. (Please note: This is not a sly way of saying he dates sluts, because I have no problem telling him his girlfriends are not good enough for him.)

After much consideration I decided we would be spending Thanksgiving with Mrs. AK, her kids, the Japanese basement dwellers and our Canadian turkey baster. AK will be out of the country for the holiday, which sucks because there goes our designated driver, which makes it a weekend affair. If I’m going to have a Thanksgiving off from the Mormon family I’m going to spend it drinking massive amounts of wine–or course, saving some room for turkey and pie.

Today, Mrs. AK and I were assigning duties when she asked, “What task should I assign Ben? Entertainment?” “No,” I said, “I told him he would be carving the turkey and peeling veggies. He’s really good at skinning things. Which if you think about it is really worrisome.” Mrs. AK said, “Yes, but better than Arlo, who is apparently good at boning the turkey.”

I cannot wait for our dirty Thanksgiving!

Ben and I had a sibling day yesterday. Since he moved to the ‘burbs I don’t get to see him as much as I did when he lived across the hall. I miss seeing him more, but I don’t miss the smell of his sink full of dirty dishes.

We left The Gateway and were driving past the temple when Ben got really quiet. I love it when Ben gets really quiet! It means he’s about to say something really weird. I crossed my fingers and hoped it would be something blog worthy.

“I can’t believe it took 40 years to build the temple. It’s not even that big. I could’ve built it ALONE in way less time and that includes the time it would take to learn to build a temple.”

I’m not good with this religious stuff but I’m pretty sure it’s not a building competition between Ben and God. But if it were, my money would be on God–not because I’m a big believer, but because Ben is really lazy.

Sarah: “Who lives in Dad’s rental property?”

Ben: “Just a bunch of guys, why?”

Sarah: “There is a pro-voucher sign in the yard. It’s weird.”

Ben: “So. I was pro-voucher too.”

Sarah: “Ben, for starters you didn’t vote, and second do you even know what the vouchers are about?”

Ben: “No clue, but I would have voted against them just to spite you.”

Sarah: “Sometimes I hate you.”

Ben: “Whatever. I’ll pick you up in 30 minutes for the movie.”

Sarah: “Did you know Roseanne Cash is having brain surgery tomorrow? Do you want to put her name on the temple prayer list, or shall I?”

Ben: “I vote you. You live closer and have less shame associated with walking in.”

Ben: “You HAVE to go to Bogies tonight!”

Sarah: “Umm, what is that and why?”

Ben: “It’s a club in Ogden that’s giving away a free boob job tonight.”

Sarah: “What are you trying to say Ben?”

Ben: “Nothing! You’re the one who wants it, and free is free.”

Sarah: “But is driving to Ogden really worth boobs?”

Ben: “Not even close.”

Sarah: “Okay, well thanks for thinking of my tits.”

Ben: “Eww. I gotta go.”

Ben: “What are you up to?”

Sarah: “Meeting Jess at the park to go running. Why, what’s up?”

Ben: “I’m sorry; I must have dialed the wrong number. Why are you running?”

Sarah: “I decided to train and run a few races. I need more incentive than the dumb gym can provide to get into shape.”

Ben: “Really? That’s so cool. I’ll run a race with you.”

Sarah: “That would be awesome!”

Ben: “And because I love you I won’t even train for it. That way you can keep up with me.”

Sarah: “And because I love you, I won’t call you a jerk right now.”