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a group of us went to the arts fest this weekend to see the filthy gorgeous fashion show. it was incredible! obviously i was especially obsessed with the pink guitar.

i had a semi-date with me, which ben claims scarred him for at least a week. my date happens to be a family counselor, so of course ben insisted on immediate therapy to deal with a man flirting with his sister. and you think i’ve got issues?

thanks to cottonsox photography for letting me post one of her “bloody brilliant” pics!

ben and i have been wanting to join the ‘big brothers big sisters’ program. well honestly, ben has been wanting to join and i’m joining so he doesn’t have to do it alone. it’s much like the time i took a hunters safety class with him, only this time i’m actually interested.

i have a friend works for the organization so i sent her the following email:
So my younger brother and I have been talking about doing this for a while and need to be a little more pro-active. We want to be brothers and sisters to someone other than each other. Do you have a contact that would be good to work with?

this was her reply:
I’m not entirely sure what you’re looking for. Are you asking me and my brother to swing? Do you need an attorney? Or a therapist?

after i laughed so hard i nearly peed, i realized i shouldn’t expect people to read my mind.

ben and i went to a family reunion today. not necessarily because we wanted to, but because my mom is the master of all things guilt. it didn’t hurt knowing i’d see my mom, aunt carol, holli and the twins. all of whom i never see enough.

i was in line with ben getting sloppy joes, because that’s how my family rolls, when my aunt judy looked over and noticed two very large hickies on ben’s neck. rather than chastise him she just asked why he didn’t bring the girl with him as a date. how great is that?

on the drive home i gave ben advice on how to get rid of the hickies, as well as suggesting he date girls who are over the age of 16.

ever since ben joined me in the pride parade people have mistaken him as gay. i really think the parade has nothing to do with it, but the man flirting and dimples do. okay, i exaggerate… ben doesn’t man flirt, he’s just a nice, friendly guy to everyone.

i invited him to come along to the trapp door last night for drinks with some friends. he declined. when my phone rang an hour later with his name showing up on the caller id, i answered “BEN, i knew you’d change your mind, admit your man love and want to come to the gay bar tonight!!” there was a slight pause and then one of his co-workers started asking me a question. oops!

**just a reminder, ben is very, very straight.**

i call this the cross-over talk. when ben talks on his cell phone he uses his right hand for his left ear and the other way around. it drives me nuts! i don’t think you should have to be a contortionist to talk on a phone. he also does it when driving which makes it extra interesting.

ben and i had a family day today. we finally made it over to cafe niche for brunch. i’ve been hearing good things and it’s relatively close to my house, so we went. the food was much to my liking and only half to ben’s liking. the reason? they served salad with his eggs. when i asked him what the big deal was he said, “i like the idea of salad, but it’s too much work–keeping it on your fork and all.” it’s moments like that i realize there is no denying we are brother and sister.

afterwards we met aimee and lo at the 337 project since i hadn’t been yet. i was waiting for a photographer friend of mine to have time, but sadly that didn’t work out. (anyone out there who took professional-ish shots that want to share, by all means…) i’d seen some photos online and was really hoping to have a couple done i could frame for my place. it’s summer, i need to revamp my walls.

oddly, all my favorite rooms were the bathrooms, like these:

i had dinner last night with banjo ben. i’m amazed he will still be seen in public with me. over dinner the following were uttered in complete annoyance:

“sarah, i will not feel your leg muscles. i’m sure they feel exactly the same they did yesterday. no one grows new muscles overnight.”

“come on! get a boyfriend, i’m NOT paying for you to take pole dancing classes. i don’t care how column worthy it is.”

“sarah, my drink doesn’t taste like your deodorant smells. it’s freaking rice milk.”

Last month I told Ben I’d kill for a Volvo. Somehow the gods of fate got this confused and thought I said I wanted to be killed by a Volvo. Easy mistake.

On my way home from the country today I encountered a nasty accident on the freeway. One of those large trucks transporting cars rolled. I’m not sure how it happened, i was too busy singing along to the radio to notice that part. Wrecked cars were everywhere, but luckily I was able to avoid being hit by a speeding blue Volvo.

When everyone started getting out of their cars I called Ben. I was busy recounting the story to him when a man motioned for me to get out of my car–I hung up and got out. “Hey, I saw you on the phone, how long until the police arrive?” “Umm, I didn’t call 911. I called my brother. Dispatch operators hear this stuff all the time, and I thought he would be more impressed by the story.” He glared and me and walked away without saying a word.  Really, it’s no wonder people hate me.

happy mother’s day, mommy! i just want to take a moment to remind you i’m your favorite child. sometimes i know it’s a competition between ben and i, but after reading the below story i’m positive you’ll reward me with the best child title.

last night banjo ben, scott and i went to a party at ak’s house. on the way home scott was telling ben about the bi-sexual woman who spend 15 minutes in the bathroom with her date’s ex-wife, both walking out in a very good mood. (scott will insist i point out both women were “smokin”.)

ben was in total disbelief he missed such a pivotal moment in the evening, so it couldn’t possibly be true by his reasoning. when i told him it really had happened, he grabbed his phone and started dialing, “i’m just going to check…”

oh, and mom… ben opened bottles with his teeth last night. so that makes me a better child too. i’m responsible about my dental bills. how could you not appreciate that?

i found this magnet on ben’s fridge and immediately pocketed it. it’s now proudly displayed on my fridge next to my favorite pin-up girl magnet.
if my mom read “i will date only young men who live church standards” on his fridge i’m positive a family intervention would follow, and frankly that’s just too much family time for me.