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I’ve always prided myself in being the type of person who doesn’t give a shit about what people think of me. Recently I discovered that’s not exactly true anymore.

Case in point: my relationship with FSB(f).

It didn’t work out. Obviously.

Something, something… I was too mean and he was too crazy.

I stopped blogging because during a very heated argument he told me everyone in his life hated me. Umm, and I was the mean one? All snarky comments aside, the old Sarah would’ve said, “Like I give a shit what your friends and family think. It’s only important what MY friends and family think and guess what? They love me, so suck it.”

Sadly, that’s not what happened.

Instead I took it insanely personally and stopped writing altogether. Why? He said his family had taken the time to try to get to know me by reading this blog. Without getting to know me, in person, they decided I was a horrible person who was mean to their son and hated Mormons. Sigh…

Instead of dealing with things, I just stopped writing. It didn’t seem worth the drama at the time and I was hurt.

Well, I’ve moved on and accepted that not everyone will like me and that’s fine. I know I’m better off without his nutty, Mormon family in my life. There’s only room for one nutty, Mormon family in my life and I’m much rather have that family be my family. They’re far superior and their nutty is the good kind of nutty.

What I’m trying to say is I’m back.

I haven’t blogged much this week. Quite honestly I feel that I haven’t had anything worthwhile to add to the interwebs. Not that I ever do, but I’m tired, busy and emotionally drained. Welcome to life as a 33-year-old student.

Last night I logged into my blog email and found the below email. I was reminded that I really do have the best blog readers. Sure, I get the occasional hate mail and comments that leave me gasping for air, but it’s the good stuff that makes blogging worth it.

Thanks to reader Chris for making life just a little brighter. I’m going to drink a glass of wine in your honor. You know the one with a kangaroo on the bottle. Or is it a wallaby? I get that so confused.

Dear Miss Nielson,

I’m writing to you from Australia as I quite literally just stumbled across you on twitter…

Which has now lead me here and I felt it would be a crime to not…

1) Mention that your tweets rock!
2) … actually I have no point 2… which now begs the question… why have I been such a douche bag and written in point form…?

Anyway love the blog so just thought I would drop you a line and tell you that your work is… kinda like a hot tub filled with melted chocolate and naked midgets!

Seriously love it!

Anyway have a beautiful weekend!

Chris

P.S. Your profile photo is criminal!!! (We use the word ‘criminal’ over here in Aus sometimes instead of ‘hot’ and now I have successfully chalked up douche bag comment no.2 for using a douche bag word like ‘criminal’)

P.P.S Please ignore the first P.S.

I guest posted on Aiming Low today.

Instead of sending me a tiara and sash my friend Brittany called me lazy on Twitter:

She’s seriously a bitch, which is a badge of honor for her, but I still want the damn tiara.

Once upon a time there was a sister-less girl named Sarah. This girl was incredibly sad until she found that pseudo sisters were even better than the real thing. She made a point to surround herself with strong, talented and loving woman. One of these women is a talented clothing designer named Suzanne.

Suzanne has been designing and sewing clothes for years. When she was designing under her last label Drop Dead she let me play model for a night in one of her fashion shows. That’s how much she loves me. I didn’t fall down the stairs. That’s how much I love her!

Suzanne would do anything for me. And I her. Which made it easy to talk her into sponsoring a giveaway. This is awesome news for y’all!

Two winners will receive shirts from Suzanne’s new clothing line “Sorry Clementine.” She will contact the winners for measurements and favorite colors so she can construct the perfect shirt for you. One of a kind, yo!

You can comment as often as you like. I will close the contest on Friday at noon. Using a randomizer I will choose two winners. Trust me, you soooo want to be one of those winners. I have a few items she has made me over the years and they remain some of my favorites.

Check out her new Sorry Clementine Clothing Etsy Shop to see what kind of clothing she designs. If you’re a SLC local you can visit her booth at Craft Lake City on Saturday, August 8 from 2 p.m -10 p.m. at The Gallivan Center. I will be!

Help Suzanne get the word out about her new line. Retweet this giveaway link (short link: http://bit.ly/irMFR) on Twitter with #sorryclementine after the link. You never know what kind of goodies you’ll get out of it. If you want to follow Suzanne on Twitter go here.

Now get commenting.

Over the weekend I helped my friend Summer launch her new blog. To thank me she called me fat. No really, she did.  Not phat, which I totally am by the way, but fat.

F-A-T!

She didn’t word it exactly the same way. She’s way too nice for that. Instead she offered me training sessions with her personal trainer boyfriend which is exactly the same thing as calling me fat. Or maybe she just wants someone else to suffer as much as she is. Their Friday night dates are held at the gym more often than that. If he weren’t such a nice guy I’d insist she break up with him.

I’m training with Mr. Summer tomorrow. So if you don’t hear from me he’s obviously murdered me with a dumbbell. And no Summer, you can’t inherit my blog. You’ve got a pretty one of your own now.

All dog owners talk to their dogs like they are human, right? Well I do. All the time, and sometimes Daisy talks back.

Me: I need a new masthead for my blog.

Daisy: Deal.

A big thanks to Alma for starting over the design work when I told her Daisy the Pug needed to be in the masthead. She didn’t once question my insanity. I love that.

If you’re reading this in feed reader you’ll want to click through and refresh. Trust me, it’s THAT cute.

A few weeks ago I wrote about how much I missed my Magic Date Ball, and because I have the best readers in the world this magically showed up in the mail today:

I immediately tested the ball out with a dating question. The answer was a very exciting, and a very glittery “Absolutely!” You’re going to have to figure out the question on your own though. I can’t be expected to do all the work around here.

Plus it’s embarrassing as hell.

And sweaty.

I just gave it away didn’t I?

Thanks again Jogurl. You’re the best!

I leave for BlogHer one month from today. I wasn’t stressed out until I wrote out my ‘to do’ list:

1) Lose ten pounds so no one has to see pictures of my ham arms all over the Internet and wonder why there weren’t Mormon funeral potatoes served with the ham.

2) Find someone to design a new blog header and business cards. This stresses me out beyond belief. Design work makes my brains explode, which would NOT make a cute design. Only zombie lovers like that shit.

3) Magically fix my dog’s rotten ass so I can find someone that will agree to watch her while I’m gone. No one will volunteer to keep a dog that can melt skin with her farts.

4) Figure out what clothing to pack. I don’t understand why pants are required in public. It would be a lot easier if I could wear my pajamas the entire weekend. Seriously, BlogHer planners, wouldn’t a giant girly sleepover party be more fun?

I’m only allowing myself to worry about four things. The rest will fall into place. And if it doesn’t? Well too bad. I’ve got school and work to stress about.

Here’s what I’ve done with my list so far:

1) Jillian Michaels is working my ass every single day but so far the only thing lost is my will to live.

2) I found someone who will design something I love, but she’ll also get it done quickly. Yay for Alma Loveland’s design work! Use her. Worship her. Do not send her chocolate. That you can send straight to my mouth. OK, so I think we figured out why I’m not losing weight.

3) I’ve only made Daisy’s ass worse by switching her food. If you live in the greater Salt Lake area and you smell something disgusting that is not the lake. That is Daisy. Sorry.

4) I had planned on wearing jeans and tee shirts the entire time, but I was lucky enough to find a clothing saint. Heather from Fawn Boutique has agreed to come pick through my closet and find just the right outfits to take. What she doesn’t know is all she’ll find is black shirts and jeans. I can’t wait to see what surprises she has in store. (Heather if you’re reading this please bring magic. You’re going to need it.)

Two out of four isn’t bad. I’m halfway through my list, people! I totally deserve a drink.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my giveaway. We didn’t get as many comments as last time, but I’m taking the blame. I didn’t pimp it out as much as I did before. I’ve been way too busy enjoying my freedom. That freedom, by the way, ends today. My classes start tomorrow… but you don’t want to hear about that, you’d rather hear who won. I don’t blame you!

The winners of the Eden Fantasy’s giveaway are:

Comment 381 was left by my friend Kelli, which feels so weird! Kelli is engaged to one of my dearest friends. It grosses me out to think she’d going to call me to tell me what she buys and then proceed to tell me all about using it. Pretty much I hate randomizer and want to barf.

Comment 118 was left by Bex. I’m thrilled she won because her comment was: “Sarah, you have pretty hair!” Apparently flattery really does get you everywhere.

Congrats girls! Enjoy your winnings.

I put pants on and went to Heather Armstrong’s book reading and signing event tonight. I really, REALLY wish this lady had followed my lead: