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My new blog list may not be complete yet, but my life goal certainly is!

Finally I get a chance to see New Kids on the Block again. Milinda and I saw them play on BYU campus when we were in eighth grade. We’re going together again, and this time I’ve promised her I won’t wear a lime green stretchy outfit. Thankfully it is at a different venue this time around. I really don’t want us to get caught at BYU with a flask. I’m terrified of the Mormon police punishing me with a lifetime sentence of polygamy. Eek!

Thanks to everyone who left comments and a link on yesterday’s blog. For me, as a blogger, my favorite part of this site is reading your comments. I can’t wait to delve into all the blog links left. It’s a big list so give me a couple of days to read them all. I’ll get a list of all the links together and post it soon. I promise. But, in the meantime, I have to go put NKOTB’s new song “Summertime” on repeat. Not because I’m obsessed, but because it’s awesome.

I don’t check my blog stats as often as I should. If I sit down and think about just how many people are reading about my vibrator I tend to panic.

Yesterday, in an effort to put off my math homework, I decided to look the blog stats up. Seeing how many of you are out there reading was amazing! I thank you, and my vibrator thanks you. My mom, however, does not thank you. I’m sure the thought of so many people reading about the time I got caught with my hand down my pants, or the time I managed to use the word fuck and Baby Jesus in the same post would give her further reason to hate technology. I can hear her now, “Sarah, those strangers are only encouraging your bad behavior. Don’t come crying to me when you end up chopped up in someone’s freezer somewhere.” My mom actually said that last part to me when she found out about my blog. I didn’t have the heart to tell her if I was chopped into pieces I probably wouldn’t be crying to anyone, because I WOULD BE DEAD!

I realized I have the best source of blog info at my hands. Who knows the Internet better than you people?

So here’s your chance to pimp your own blog. In the comment section I want anyone with a blog, or a favorite blog to leave a link and briefly tell us what your blog is about. My RSS feed could use a little revamp. Get busy. And when you’re done getting busy, come back and leave me some blog links. Not everyone around here (READ: ME!!) is getting a little something, something–which means I’ve got plenty of time for blog reading.

**Edit**Woohoo!  Look at all these links!  To make things easier I’ll post a list of all the links left in comments, so post your link by tomorrow.

When I received this anonymous comment on my “Oh Snap“blog post:

Comment by Curry to a piss head–June 3, 2008 You are so full of this shit, this page makes my colon look like God’s bathroom floor.

I just knew I had to have a colon masthead. I thought about asking my dad for pics from his colonoscopy, but in the end decided against it. It’s bad enough I write the fuck word repeatedly on the Internet, posting pictures of the inside of his colon would be the ultimate betrayal in his book. And frankly, I can’t risk being written out of the will. I’m banking on that cash.

My friend Aimee designed the masthead for me in a matter of seconds. She is seriously amazing, and I’m not just saying that because of that one time she asked me to hump Ben Fold’s leg for her.

Thanks Aimee!

When I moved my site from blogger I started paying hosting services. As much as I love blogging I don’t want to pay money to blog, hence the ads. Forgive me.

After paying hosting fees any extra income will be deposited directly to my college fund. As readers you should all pat yourself on the backs, after all, it’s entirely possible you’ll be helping me finish my degree.

I thank you, and my dog thanks you. I have considered adding her to an illicit ring of pug porn in order to pay textbook costs. I think we can all agree this is a much better option.

I took part in a local news show called On the Record with Chris Vanocur. Also on the show were Jon and Heather Armstrong. It airs Sunday, but you can watch the video here.

When I was told the writer of Dooce was taking part I was pissed. This meant I would have to switch out my purse. I mean, sure, I thought it would be cool to meet her since we have so much in common—we both watch “The Hills” and I have a feeling she knows the super secret that I do: THE SHOW IS REAL, DAMN IT!

But the purse issue took precedence!

A couple of months ago George! sent me an article about his cousin Heather (Dooce) I couldn’t get past the picture to read the article. Her purse was incredible, and I knew I had to have it. And really can you blame me? The retro style print is amazing and those colors? Perfect for spring!

After hours of unsuccessfully searching online I gave up. The next day I couldn’t get that purse off my mind. I convinced myself the purse and I were totally meant to be. And we must have been, because I finally found it and immediately ordered it.

I knew it was a risk as I live in the same city as Heather, but I figured the chances of me ever running into her were slim. I forgot to take into consideration the gods of fate hate me, because a few days later she posted the purse in her daily style section. Within a day the purse was sold out.

The next day a friend of mine complimented the purse and said that it looked familiar. OF COURSE IT DID, because it was posted online for millions of Dooce readers to see. The purse is now fondly referred to as the “Dooce ruined my life” purse. Despite the fact half the world now owns the purse I still carry it daily. So, you’ll understand my annoyance at having to switch purses for the filming. After all, nothing says crazy stalker like showing up with the exact same bag as an Internet rock star.

The NY Times today had an article today reporting deaths due to the stress of blogging. Sure, they were mostly referring to real news blogs, but still DEATH, PEOPLE, DEATH!!

From the article: Other bloggers complain of weight loss or gain, sleep disorders, exhaustion and other maladies born of the nonstop strain of producing for a news and information cycle that is as always-on as the Internet.

After reading the article I promptly called my mother to remind her I want to be cremated, with half my ashes scattered in the shoe section of Target, and the other half at the downtown wine store. She wasn’t home; I left a message. Voice mails can serve as a binding contract, right?

“Sarah, it’s Scott.  Did you break up with me?  At least call me and tell me if you broke up with me, or at least leave a note on your blog or something.”

I love this!  How great that now I don’t even have to return calls or text message people anymore, I can inform them via blog I didn’t break up with them.

If I were to call him back–which I probably won’t because I’m lazy–I’d be sure to tell him we are not broken up at this time.  He’s not fired and still considered a friend, in fact a better friend than I am since he calls people.

Now if I could only figure out how to get my family to accept this form of communication my world would be perfect.

I’ve been blogging on Blogspot for a couple of years now, and it’s time for a change. I’m going to be moving my blog from Blogspot tomorrow, thanks to lots of help from The Kid. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while but I’m lazy. He, however, is not. He’s got the drive those silly young kids seem to have. Me? Notsomuch.

What does this mean for you? Hopefully not much. Some of you already use the domain www.sarahnielson.com, but will still need to change your RSS feed once my content is moved over. My new site will have an easy RSS feed so just add it. Also, if you have this blog linked on yours please change to www.sarahnielson.com if that’s not the URL you’re currently using.

I’m finally getting around to adding a blogroll to the new site, but it’s a slow process. So if you don’t see your blog linked on there give me a couple of weeks to finish that up. I’m lazy remember? I need to save that energy to lift a wine glass to my lips.

Change can be such a pain in the ass, but I think it will be worth it!

I can’t decide to laugh about this, or eat a container of ice cream and cry. A cougar? Seriously, George? Our imaginary cuddle affair is over!

Rest assured little Georgie, if I get married due to your post you can skim 10% off the wedding gifts and money. But stay away from my bridesmaids!

Dear Self,

After reading these comments, remember despite all of it, you really, really like blogging. It gives you a creative outlet and an opportunity to practice the craft of writing. Also, remember the laugh factor–you’ve always been the happiest when you make someone laugh and smile.

Love, Sarah
PS. Your ass looks hot today.

Dear Readers,

I’m fully aware that by blogging about my life, it’s out there for anyone to read. I have no problem with that. Sure, sometimes a comment will irk me, but not for long. Roll with the punches, right? I think Stray Scott nailed it when, in a comment, he said that he too would read the blog of an ex. I have as well, and don’t think it’s a big deal.

I would like to address this comment: “Purposely living her life as public as Sarah does, down to minute details via Twitter, she has no right to complain.” I want you to know I’m not complaining, at all. I’ll keep blogging, if you keeping reading. Deal?

Love, Sarah
PS. I hope your asses look good today, too!

Dear Ex,

I suspect you’re not the only ex reading this site. I don’t mind. Whichever ex you are, I hope you are happy and well.

Love,
Sarah