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My dad once accused me of being a fair-weathered Ute fan. I denied it, but he’s absolutely right. After attending yesterday’s game in the snow I came home and vowed never again. From now on, I’ll be watching from the comfort of my home, or a well-stocked bar.

It was fun-ish, but I discovered I’m not pretty when I’m miserable and I don’t like that one bit. Thanks to the boy who put up with my whining and let us sneak out early as hypothermia prevention. I promise I’m not mad you tried to kill me, but you still owe me a dry adventure.

I’m never washing my hair again. We really know that’s not true–I’m a product addict, but for a moment this morning I seriously considered it.

Maddie and I attended a singles event at The Depot last night. A friend of a friend started a dating service. Showing support and being mildly curious we went. I washed my hair and Maddie shaved her legs. Together we were one hygienic hottie.

It wasn’t what I was expecting… desperation comes in all forms. We left after a few minutes and went to the food court. My desperation is in the form of Taco Time. Washing my hair and wearing cute new shoes for a mall food court is not my idea of a night on town. There’s not a flask big enough for that–trust me, I’ve looked.

Last summer I found myself dating two men I deeply cared about: Captain America and The Adult. When each relationship ended we promised to stay friends. I know it rarely works, but I had high hopes. Both men were really great guys, or so I thought.

When a storm left my apt. without power for two days I asked The Adult if I could crash with him. I didn’t think it was big deal. After all that we’ve been through we remain friends. I guess his idea of friendship is far different than mine. When my friends need me I do everything I can to help–just ask Midge. I was shocked when he told me no. Ak and Mrs. Ak didn’t have power either, Ben was MIA and I really didn’t want to drive clear to the burbs to crash with Uncle Cabbage Patch (who I don’t think even had an extra bed set up yet). He said it was a bad night for him and maybe another time. Funny, but I can’t really plan power outages around his schedule. I couldn’t believe he was leaving me hanging yet again. This is quickly turning into his new and far from improved personality, and I’m quickly learning he isn’t such a great guy at all.

Last Sunday’s snuff from Capt. America was surprising, but when it happened again I found myself really hurt. In Utah This Week had a booth at the Avenues street fair yesterday, as Daisy and I were walking through the crowd I saw him and his girlfriend. He looked at me and then Daisy and turned around without saying a word. How do you not even say hello to someone you once claimed to love? I was livid. So I sent him a text message letting him know of all the men I’ve dated, I’d never expect him to end up being that guy. He left a voice mail in apology but it doesn’t matter. Twice in one week… the damage is done.

After a late night out Pants and I went to Ruth’s this morning for brunch. I promised her it had the city’s best Bloody Mary, so to count on a wait.

What I hadn’t been counting on was seeing Captain America.

Last summer when I took him there for the first time he instantly loved it. I should have known he’d go back. I saw him about a month ago and it was awkward and hurt for days, but this was worse. Today he had his girlfriend with him. His very pretty girlfriend who makes him disgustingly happy. Sigh…

I ate my omelet, drank my Bloody Mary and tried to remain unaffected. Which, of course, didn’t work–it never does.

We didn’t acknowledge seeing one another, which almost hurt worse than being forced to smile and play nice while meeting his girlfriend.

I desperately need a city with less ex-boyfriends.

A friend and I were discussing relationships last night over drinks. The previous woman he’d been dating wasn’t exactly monogamous. Now that he’s back on the prowl, I thought it might be fun to practice my matchmaking skills. Asking him what he looks for in a woman, thinking he’d provide the basics: pretty, smart and most importantly a great rack.

Nope.

“Well, if she wasn’t screwing someone else she would have been fantastic. So available is a start.”

And this was proven by ogling every ring less waitress the remainder of the evening. Like a true friend, I helped.

The hostess with the mostess, Katie, had another great bbq Sunday afternoon for a friend’s going away party. (If you’re keeping track that’s two friends leaving this month.)

We were talking about online dating and she told me that Match.com had tried to match her divorced parents. I laughed. No way was that going to happen to me.

…but then it did.

Yesterday an email came from Match letting me know an ex and I are an 84% match. Seriously? Been there done that. I think it’s time for Match to revamp inventory.

Today, while on the phone with a cute guy I know, he asked “So what are you doing this week?” To which I replied, “Sweating.” Our conversation sorta fizzed out at that point. Who wants to ask the sweaty girl out? Exactly.

i’m looking for a geek. not the kind of geek who never leaves his mother’s basement, but the geek with designer jeans and cool glasses. oh, and hair. that’s important–bald geeks need not apply.

my geek must be geeky enough to accompany me to the mac store and actually enjoy it. (my ibook is on the fritz AGAIN!) also, please know every computer program i may need, and redesign my blog to look exactly the way i want it: pink. my geek must accompany me to movies at the broadway, and drive me home when i’ve had a few too many. my geek must be able to read and discuss books with me.

what you’ll get in return. i’ll never complain when you watch the simpsons. i’ll always be willing to bring you coffee while you fix my computer. i’ll try and behave myself in front of your parents, and not behave myself in front of your friends. i’ll happily discuss most new geeks toys with you. of course, reserving the right to pick and choose which items interest me and discuss accordingly.

is that really so much to ask?

i’m making progress. i finally dumped the yuppie’s bathroom supplies today. i felt guilty doing it, but it’s done nonetheless. when i bought this bathroom garbage can years ago i had no idea just how fitting it would be.

needing something to occupy my time, i logged on my match account tonight. yup, friday night at home. shut up. after reading a few emails i’m reminded of my internet dating rules. so far they’re working– i’ve not been chopped up and stored in a garage freezer.

1) don’t send me the exact same email you send everyone. come on, does anyone actually reply to those?
2) at least make an attempt to spell words correctly. spell checker is a beautiful invention–like caller id!
3) under no condition mention of your season pass to lagoon.
4) don’t offer to send me your bank statements. wtf?

here’s my favorite message tonight. because, i too am picky, which is why i’ll not reply. ( i’m bitchy, get over it.)

I hafve to ask becaue sine I hae dated on match over the past 3 months these profles seem to mean nothin with the girs out in California so I have decided to look out of state for my soul mate.. My name is Todd B******, I am a great guy with a lot to offer … Please review my profile and if I seean email in my inbox from you I know your interested… I hop so becuae I am very picky and it took me a long time to fine you… I;ll bet your worth it though….

Hugz!

Toddy B