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i had lunch with my geeks today. guess which one is sporting this new accessory (the sticker not phone)? i’ll give you a hint… he never attended school in wyoming.

Jack Bauer. Seriously, who is this guy? I’ve never seen an episode of 24 until last night’s finale. And might I add, not by choice. I have a group of friends who get together on Monday nights for “Family Night”. Our version of the LDS family home evening follows suit with the traditional version with treats and games. However, we substitute the prayer with beer, always making our family nights much better than the ones I recall growing up in an LDS household.

Last night 24 was playing in the background, because blah, blah…”season finale, must be good.”

So we watched.

Had this occurred a week earlier I would have had no idea who Jack Bauer was—luckily for me The Simpsons newest episode was a spoof on 24. Proving The Simpsons is educational and should be watched by everyone.

I have to admit I wasn’t impressed with 24. In fact, I was downright bored with the show. Sure, it might be that I have no idea who these characters, but my guess is even if I took the time to catch up (which I won’t) I’d still find myself bored. I’m more a CW kind of girl. If the Gods of TV are reading, bring Gilmore Girls back!

“hey babe, have i ever told you how good looking i am? well come out with me to the cultural festival and drink beer with me and i’ll tell you.”

this is how i spent my afternoon with marky: while on the couch in our sugar-induced coma i told him to check out fiddley.com. i’ve been thinking about taking the time to design a real website rather than this blogger template crap, and really like his.

marky: “how do you spell it?”
me: “f-i-d-d-l-e-y.”
marky: “f-i- what?”
me: “dd, as in tits, l-e-y.”

one of my long-standing male girlfriends, scott, is in town. we were talking about sex, because for some reason my car is similar to a high school boy’s locker room (in conversation only, not smell!). suddenly he blurts out he has an unusually long tongue, then proceeds to show me. what did i do? i nearly wrecked my damn car into a car in the other lane. in the future if all friends could agree not to show me their body parts while driving that would be great.

i went to a friend’s house last night and couldn’t help but notice this in his front room:when i asked him if he knew there was a giant knife laying on his game shelf his response was, “that seems about right.” it was one of those things rather than question it just made more sense to go to the bar.

brock.v*******: get laid?

brock.v*******: no

urban princess and i went to costco to pick up a birthday present for a friend this weekend. i like to choose a gift that keeps on giving. this time, i think i nailed it (no pun intended). what better for a single guy than a super sized package of condoms? you’re right…absolutely nothing.

as we waited in line i mentioned how odd it was that everyone was so friendly. typically saturday’s at costco are a nightmare. it was then i remembered i just walked around a store carrying nothing but a giant box of condoms. all the friendly men suddenly made sense.

*please take note-the giant pack of 900 tampons are not mine. i’m moody, but not that moody.

I went to a BBQ last night at a friend’s house. These are some of my favorite boys around, so much in fact when they call me bitch I just smile and get them another beer. Because really isn’t that what a good bitch does?

Feeling guilty that I wasn’t helping, I walked into the kitchen and offered assistance to the pretty boy with dimples. He requested I grab an onion out of the friends and cut it for the burgers. A woman in the kitchen, who I didn’t know, said “Oh, I’ll do it—she probably doesn’t even know how to cut an onion.” I don’t know why but this totally hurt my feelings. She was pretty accurate, since I’ve not cut an onion in years, but really how difficult can it be? I smiled politely and quickly left the kitchen for the sanctity of the porch.

Since summer is just around the corner, perhaps I should buy a book that demonstrates (with pictures) how to properly cut all vegetables. It might just be worth my time.