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Let there be cake, lots and lots of chocolate cake! Here’s the birthday edition of “That’s What She Said.”

This week’s “That’s What She Said” is all about bush.  No really, it is.

Click through to read “That’s What She Said.” This week’s installment is about my uber depressing love life.

Last weekend I met up with the SLC Drinking Liberally Group for some good old fashioned political fun.  Here’s the “That’s What She Said” column about the evening.

This week’s That’s What She Said.  I know you people, so before you write me emails complaining about the headline please remember I didn’t write it.  The only puns in my vocabulary are dirty ones.  You people know that.  You do know that, right?  Well RLO does anyway.  And frankly he’s growing tired of my wiener jokes.  Get it?  Growing wiener?  I kill me.

My brother and I went to see Body Worlds 3 at The Leonardo last Sunday.  If I was going to look at dead bodies of course I was going to drag Ben along with me.  Nothing says family bonding like skinless bodies, right?  That last sentence was far creepier than anything in the exhibit, except maybe the guy behind me in line that kept brushing up against me inappropriately.  I’d like to have him skinned and tossed into the exhibit, but I wasn’t entirely sure how to go about that.  OK, I’m creeping myself out here.  Just go read the damn column.

Thursdays are my favorite day for blogging, because I can post a link to my column and call it good.  Frankly, I’m too stressed out to be clever, and since I can’t afford a therapist I’m going to vent here.  If you don’t like it there’s this cute little button at the top of the page with an X on it just for you.  Come back tomorrow.  I’m sure I’ll have some stupid, embarrassing moment to share.  If I leave home, something humiliating is bound to happen.

I’m about to have a pity part here.  Seriously, are you sure you don’t want to log off? Fine.  I warned you.

Yesterday, I found out how much it will cost to finish my degree and needless to say I’m considering prostitution.  Look for me on a street corner near you!

On top of that, after five years of living in my tiny princess pad, my rent is being raised.  I told myself when I moved in that I wasn’t moving out until I purchased my own home.  How very naive of me.  My salary isn’t high enough to afford an education and a house.  I’m not willing to give up on my education quite yet, so it looks like I’m stuck in my tiny apartment without a proper kitchen, AC or laundry.

I know, I know… I’m VERY fortunate to have a job, an apartment, and a chance at a higher education. And while I know how incredibly lucky I am to have these things it doesn’t stop me from noticing those around me who can afford a much nicer lifestyle, and still manage to whine about life.  The worst part is biting my tongue when I really want to tell them all to fuck off.  I don’t because I love them.  And that, folks, is what love is: not telling people to fuck off.

For now, I’ll continue to go to work every day, and then I’ll go to school.  Afterward, I’ll come home and cry because I’m terrified of how I’m going to pay for it all.  Promise me when you see me on the street corner you won’t heckle me.

And if you do, I won’t write columns about threesomes anymore.  How’s that for punishment?

For this week’s column click here, where I talk about going to the Utah State Fair.  I’m still pretty pissed that RLO wouldn’t let me feed a hamburger to a cow.  Something about cattle not understanding irony.  He’s always ruining my fun, that boy.  To see more pictures of the fair go here.

To read my column for In Utah This Week click here. I also wrote a guest post for The Kel, which you can read here. Obviously you have a lot to read, so snap to it.

To read my newest column for In Utah This Week go here.  Feel free to send sympathy cards… isn’t that what you do when people are almost murdered?