Thanks!
Reader email is one of my favorite things about my column. Well, that and the paycheck, but I’m pretty sure Emily Post would roll over in her grave if we discussed incomes online. She’d also be really upset I discussed sex with animals in print, but I did anyway.
What?
I had to! It was the only way to answer a reader email. Read my column here.
Read this week’s “That’s What She Said” to hear my reasons for hating the holiday. Yeah, yeah, I’m sure it’s your favorite holiday and you can’t imagine how ANYONE could hate it. Um, bloody zombies.. isn’t that enough to hate anything?
To read this week’s “That’s What She Said” column for In Utah This Week go here.
My lovely lady editor, Amy, is on vacation. I took full advantage and published a column all about the word ‘douche‘. I’ve always wondered how many times I could get that word into the magazine. The answer to that is 20.
If you’re a huge fan of Facebook you’ll probably want to skip this week’s column for In Utah This Week. I’m in the midst of an anti-Facebook crisis. I just hate it so much lately. I’d rather do homework than log in, which pretty much tells you THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING!
Prepare my wicked readers. As for my righteous readers: Do you have your food storage ready? Do you have a stocked wine cellar? If so, what’s your address?
To read my column for In Utah This Week go here. The column is about adjusting to a new home.. which isn’t going as well as I had hoped. I still want to punch my bathroom in the face. I haven’t been able to have a bath in two weeks.
TWO MOTHER FUCKING WEEKS!
I’m showering, so there’s not a hazardous waste issue going on. I just want to soak in the bathtub. My entire world is thrown off when I can’t have a night tubby. I get grumpy and my wine consumption goes way up, which is good for the economy but saving the world isn’t at all relaxing.
To read this week’s column where I’m a giant dickhead to hippies go here.
You can bitch at me all you want, but HIPPIES ARE ICKY AND DIRTY! They also listen to Ben Harper which makes me want to barf.
I’m sure you’re as sick of hearing about my move as I am planning for it.
Well, TOO DAMN BAD.
This moves has consumed my life… and my mothers, WHO IS A FREAKING SAINT! Knowing her daughter freaks out over the slightest bit of change she drove two hours just to help me finish packing.
When I realized I didn’t have any newspaper or bubble wrap to pack the Pyrex I ran to the closest IN Utah This Week stand and stole a few papers. I write for them so it’s OK to steal.
Though, in hindsight, I probably should have grabbed a different newspaper. This week’s issue was the adult issue, so now my sweet, Mormon mother thinks I write for a trashy, porn magazine. Awesome. I cannot wait to hear how she spins this for the family newsletter.
This week’s “That’s What She Said” for IN Utah This Week.
Read my column this week to hear about my worthless attempt at running a 5K.
In my defense it’s not all laziness, but also because I suck at anything athletic. I’m a total klutz. Seriously, do you know any other women who carry emergency Hello Kitty Band-Aids in their purse?
DO NOT MOCK ME!
Those Band-Aids came in handy yesterday. I was walking down a flight of stairs, at school, when I caught sight of a handsome man. I’m so used to seeing young boys at school that I just had to get a closer look. Which I did, as I tumbled down the stairs past him.
I was so busy yelping in pain, when I hit the floor, to even notice if he had a wedding ring on. Which is fine, since I needed time to apply 12 Band-Aids to my bloody knee, not to flirt.
See? Ditching the 5K probably saved my freaking life.