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Things have been scarce around these parts lately. I’ve been a little more diligent on keeping up with Twitter, but this blog has been sorely neglected.

Buying a new house, followed by moving has kept me occupied. Finally, at 35-years-old, I have achieved what I consider real adulthood. The mortgage payment and house stress are mine, all mine. It’s cheesy, I know, but I’m incredibly proud of myself for doing this on my own. No husband or boyfriend needed. Just me, well, and that bottle of wine that provided me with the courage to go for it.

My “That’s What She Said” column is a letter to my bank. You know, that place crazy enough to give me a large sum of money. What fools!

This year I spent Thanksgiving in the country ignoring my vegan diet and eating my weight in cream cheese mashed potatoes. I did set down my fork down long enough to compile a list of items I’m thankful for. You can read the list in this week’s “That’s What She Said.”

When you work with nerds all day like I do, time travel is 80% of daily conversation.

And space.

Nerds love to talk about how amazing it would be to live in space. Amazing? Puh-lease. I’ll tell you what’s amazing: the fact my brain hasn’t exploded all over the office.

Space talk I can usually tolerate, but when they start talking about time travel I tune them out. Last week I didn’t. They were discussing what they would change about their lives if they could travel through time. After I mocked them sufficiently, I thought about what I would do. Honestly I wouldn’t change much, but I would offer some advice to teen Sarah… which I did in this week’s “That’s What She Said” for In Utah This Week.

Cheesy right? Only it’s not. Today’s Election Day also happens to be my 35th birthday.

You have no idea how happy this makes me. Two words: PATRIOTIC BONER. I’d weave in a Bill Clinton joke here, but there’s no time to be wasted. I have a ballot to cast and a public bathroom to weep in.

For more musings on my birthday you can read my “That’s What She Said” column for In Utah This Week.

Read about how my new commute brought Eminem and I back together in this week’s “That’s What She Said.”

Is it just me or is the new season of TV just blah? I guess I could just not watch TV, but then I’d have to make plans and wear pants. Unless, of course, I could make plans that don’t involve pants, but that would require dating… also just blah.

While I haven’t found a solution of the dating blahs, I have found a solution for the TV blahs; read my new “That’s What She Said” for said solutions.

This week’s “That’s What She Said” is all about my so called drug use in Utah County.

For those of you outside of Utah perhaps this storefront will give you perspective:

Um, yeah, welcome to my new life.

I suck at being a columnist, well, and life. It’s just so hard to be engaged lately. I’m hoping my new surroundings will spark some creativity, or at the very least give me more things to mock.

New surroundings you ask? First things first. This is what I’ve been up to for the last three weeks: I bought a Jeep, I decided to lust after fictional characters and then I moved to Happy Valley.

And that is that.

This week’s That’s What She Said is about watching people fight in cages. Um, yes, really.

See!

Read “That’s What She Said” to hear about my camping adventures.

Every camping trip requires an obligatory gun photo shoot, right?

To see additional pictures go here.