Thanks!
my best friend, midge, is cultivating a miniature set of balls and a tiny little penis inside of her. it’s really weird if you think about it too long, weird in a sweet creating life sort of way, i guess.
congratulations my dear!
ak blew his knee out and isn’t allowed to “real” ski for a month, i’m not sure how, i assume it’s from being so old! though, i’ve found the silver lining: he finally has the time to teach me to ski. yeah, after 31 years i’m finally going to make an attempt to enjoy something about the winter besides sundance. i’ve never learned because i hate being cold, but i found there’s something i hate even more than the cold…being left out! i’m sick of my brothers having ski days and not inviting me.
a friend with boy parts (crucial when seeing a football movie) and i went to see we are marshall tonight. i’ve been wanting to see it, but knew it was going to be a tearjerker so taking ben was not an option as he was the brother who cried in the land before time up until high school, bless his tender, wussy, little heart.
i cried like a baby 12 times, only once because matthew mcconaughey reminds me of captain america. when we walked out of the movie, i mentioned to my friend not to tell anyone, he reminded me it was ok to admit to having a heart. i guess, but i still blame the tears on my sars, because when your throat hurts it’s ok to cry.
i mentioned to the office girls that i wasn’t dating anyone at the moment, and somehow it resulted in this…
it’s possible i just jinxed myself, which would probably really please my mother.
there’s something about love, or at least i think so. read more here!
i sit near the break room at my office, giving me the opportunity to torment others as shown below: 
grey (as in the color), has made past appearances on my blog (read here), left a container with his name on it in the fridge. seeing that it was a white milky substance i thought it important to be more specific and added more, but of course since i don’t really want to be fired for sexual harassment i left the breast to be implied.
i’ve had sars, or a cold as most people call it, all week. i’m just now feeling well enough to recall another weird lunch conversation with my geeks yesterday. in a span of two minutes the below phrases were uttered– one by me, and one by pmk. you figure out who said what.
“speaking of transvestites, at my family party this year…”
“my nephews are going to be boys”
happy new year or hangover day, whichever you prefer. my night was very mellow compared to last year, and i’m totally ok with that. it was nice not to start a fight, get a friend punched, and other drama that comes with holiday drinking.
this morning, however, was another story. i met some friends at zola for brunch. i’d been craving a bloody mary so marky drove. we stopped on the way to grab some medicine, i’m just fighting off the tail end of a cold. anticipating another cold soon (it’s winter!!) i bought a box containing pills for both day and night.
when we arrived i ordered my drink and took two blue pills. twenty minutes later everything around me started to swim, and it looked like everyone was talking in slow motion. marky saw i was struggling and got me out of there pretty quick. i realized on the way home i’d taken the night pills.
i realize vodka + sleeping pills is an ideal cocktail for some, but for me at 1 in the afternoon notsomuch!
last night night ben and i went over to our brother jeff’s house to watch the fights on hbo. my brothers really like watching them, and while i don’t i really like seeing my brothers.
my brother jeff lives with his girlfriend and her 3-year-old daughter, who i call little hula. she got one of those doll heads for christmas so she can play hairdresser. it’s a nice having her play with doll hair rather than combing mine with my car keys. when she showed me the doll i asked her where the body was and if ben had eaten it. you see, i told her months ago that ben eats people. she looked over at ben and he bared all his teeth. at this point she was totally freaked out, and ben and i were in heaven. for the remainder of the evening ben would periodically walk over and pretend to eat whatever doll she was playing with.
i left before ben did and when i walked out the door little hula started to cry because she didn’t want me to leave ben there. i felt horrible and decided i’d never tease her like that again…well, unless i’m taking ben home with me.
some say makeup sex is one of the best things about fighting, but what about when the fight was with a friend not boyfriend? i found the answer yesterday: makeup shopping; apparently, nothing heals a fight like buying new shoes together.
dear friend (you know who you are), i promise never to be so stubborn again! i see a future bright with target adventures, sbux and yelling for carmen in the streets. life is good, again!