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chady-bear graduated from high school last night which makes my parents old, yet somehow i remain not a day over 21. everyone knows how boring graduation ceremonies are so the mind tends to wander; while i was busy contemplating why i wasn’t the inventor of velcro, ben was in another place, a place far, far away. he was dazing off, as he usually does, when he suddenly perks up looks at me and asks if he looks like he’s been smoking weed. i’m unsure why looking like you’re stoned is suddenly a good thing. poor ben, living in the country is affecting his mind. and his hair. yes, you’re looking at the beginning of a trashed out mullet. go ben!

while paying for lunch today pmk handed over $11 for a $10.98 total, the cashier grabbed a calculator to ensure pmk received the correct change.

umm, you do the math. there is entirely too much to make fun of…so insert your own sarcasm, ad nauseam.

Word of the Day

fustian: pompous or pretentious language.
hobbledehoy: an awkward, gawky young fellow.
cum: with; along with; combined with.

for those keeping count–that’s three blogs containing words that make my mother blush. awesome.

ak is riding in the tour de cure, a sponsored ride to raise money for the american diabetes association. diabetes affects 20 million americans; the most significant to me is my dad, diagnosed at the age of 8.

i’ve donated, and i’m asking you to do the same here. it’s a good cause and every little bit counts, skip sbux for a day and contribute your coffee money. it’s enough that you can feel good about yourself without hopping on a bike and sweating your guts out.

ak, thanks for riding for both of our dads!

may is bike month, and today is ride your bike to work day. i’m not a biker so i don’t take part in these activities, however, the geeks are, and they do.
although i think they got confused and thought it was DRIVE your bike to work day. whatever.

i don’t speak bike, so when jb looked at me this morning and mentioned, “darn it, i forgot my scrotum today”, i was speechless. the disturbing part to my tender ears was that he said darn and scrotum in the same sentence. you see, i really feel that a forgotten scrotum deserves at least a damn…but that’s just me.

i cannot believe i just wrote a blog title containing that word! i hate that word, however, it’s very fitting and i can’t ignore a good rhyme.

in honor of our fearful, errr…i mean fearless leader’s address to the nation tonight:photo taken at snowbird this weekend (thanks jon). ahhh, clearly a man after my own heart.

growing up in an mostly male household taught me young to cherish certain girly items-today’s example, barbies. sure, maybe i didn’t play with them in the most conventional way, but i still played with them. i loved playing cars with my brothers, mostly just wrecking them, adding barbie into the mix was…shall we say interesting? my dolls always had broken arms and legs wrapped in homemade casts–tissue and elmers glue, often i was forced to shave their heads for brain injuries.

despite these acts they were still cherished childhood items. imagine my horror when i showed up to dinner at my parents today and found my niece had been playing with MY toys, as an only girl sharing my toys was not something i was accustomed to. just as i was about reclaim my treasures my mom gave the the look of death, i knew at that point hiding the toys from hannah was not an option. any other day, i would have directed her attention elsewhere and taken back what was mine, but not today.

mom, i’m not sure why you’ve been sad your kids are all grown up, because obviously we are not…

happy mother’s day!

today’s afternoon trip to sbux was the most horrifying yet; keep in mind i go there daily. our usual coffee girls weren’t there, the replacements: two mullets, and a confused deaf lad. i must clarify; the confused deaf guy was only pretending to be deaf for a sign language class. (i would never make fun otherwise, even i have limits.) it’s interesting how being deaf has evolved into just being mute. correct me if i’m wrong, but don’t deaf people usually not hear things?! he heard everything we said, obviously, and communicated via post it notes.

yesterday, hot blond rory made my drink. today, fabio.

i definitely need time to recover from this experience before i can go back, thank god it’s friday and i can go to gateway bux for the next two days. coffee gods, please hear my plea….return rory, blond rory, hannah, and molly. i need beauty with my caffeine.

my baby brother, chady-bear, graduates from high school this month. it seems strange i have a brother that young, on the other hand i still expect to see him as a six-year old shaking his but at me yelling, “show this to your mommy”.

after deciding to buy him an ipod, i called my mom to guarantee it wouldn’t be a duplicate gift. she suggested i just give him money instead; “sarah, your brother doesn’t actually like music”, which was news to me. after further questioning i was informed that he only listens to country-western. when i pointed out to my mom that country music, while shitty, does indeed count as real music. i got a “whatever, sarah”.

and people wonder why i’m such a shit.

i’m never, ever prepared–not even for something that i’ve known about for weeks. seriously. what good is an ipaq when you can’t be bothered to remember to take it with you?!

the one day i needed to be in jeans, i’m not. typical.

my office is going bowling today, team building, blah, blah, blah. as usual, i forgot and am clad in flip-flops, needless to say no socks. now, i’m slightly neurotic, so the thought of wearing communal bowling shoes sorta freaks me out (by sorta, i mean A LOT). add to this equation, if you will, the fact i’ll be borrowing gg-top’s extra socks. yeah, it’s going to be a long afternoon….

not to worry, i’ll be very busy contemplating the reason why my company is obsessed with ball sports lately.