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growing up in the country does things to people. things we don’t speak about in mixed company, on the world wide web, however, we do: banjo love.

the other day i came home to find this….ben’s been talking about buying a banjo for months. i thought it was a passing phase like his obsession with girl mullets, apparently not. i’m not sure what frightens me more, the thought of him becoming willie nelson, or the idea he was so excited he couldn’t wait until he got inside to play the damn thing.

i’ve found my calling in life! no, not turning making fun of people into an olympic sport, but rather bumper stickers– finding entertainment in them, and passing it onto you good people.

flyboy and i spent the day wreaking havoc on the fair city of salt yesterday. it was a marathon judgment day, and not only did he tolerate my people skills, but he participated, and well i might add! the venue was liberty park for the drum circle; those who have spent time with me know, hippie watching is a sport. there were so many favorites to choose from and sadly, no camera. as usual, i made it out alive and offended only a few. duck man being the few (plural as i’m positive he considered the giant toy duck he carried around a friend). at one point duck man noticed our watchful eyes, it was then i felt a little guilty. not to worry, i washed that right down with more judgment and a diet coke.

one sunburned nose later we ended up at andy’s. i don’t remember the last time i had such a good time getting groped at the local dive bar. sadly, it was just jack doing the groping. jack being my new dive bar boyfriend; this is not an exclusive relationship, nor is it reciprocated.

flyboy handled the entire day with ease, which causes one to think i’ve possibly found myself an elitist partner-in-crime.

i hate suv’s, but you know this right? if not, read here to catch up. with that in mind, i bring you our submission to fuh2….if you haven’t yet, then wander over to the site. it’s my new favorite thing.
mainly because of this:
a collage of bird flipping hummer haters, just my sorta ‘thang!

sometimes i threaten that i need new friends, of course, i never really mean it. they don’t come better than my geek squad, these guys would do anything for me. while fantastic guys, they are however, total and complete geeks.

these are the topics discussed over lunch today:

racing/nascar
significant digits
recycling
bio-diesel
air force flight pilot handle names
bluetooth technology

do you feel my pain? occasionally, we discuss things that actually interest me….

mystery boy and i are spending the evening doing something that would make my ancestors jump out of their graves with glee! i thought it would be fun to let you kids guess, but somehow i see that one getting WAY out of hand (you dirty, dirty people).

mormon sunday dinner!

we’ve decided it’s our calling in life to combine the finer points of a mormon dinner and a sarah dinner. a mormon dinner consists of the following key ingredients: pot roast, potatoes, mismatched place-settings, and loud children. a sarah dinner consists of only one key ingredient: wine.

does anyone know what kind of wine goes well with funeral potatoes? obviously boxed wine, but a chardonnay cube or a burgundy box?

i’ve often wondered who buys the non-lubricated condoms, you know, the red box trojans. i obviously spent too much time in the condom isle of the drugstore in my early 20’s. i finally figured it out, young mormon husbands! the geeks pointed out a bag in the back-seat of an audi wagon they parked next to, which contained one lonely condom. typically, this wouldn’t phase us, however, this time we knew the car owner.

to condom boy: i applaud you for a) getting some and b) practicing safe sex, but the curious part is the single serving size condom. aren’t newlyweds still in that “practice” stage, therefore needing multiple condoms over the one night stand purchase? i don’t get it.

now, to add to my rising condom issues i bring you some entertainment:

thanks to the neglect on the part of amazon.com, one more reason to shop there. entertainment!

woman bond over food; don’t ask me why, that’s just the way it is.

i met my second favorite sarah yesterday for coffee. we’ve been blog-friending for a while now and recently decided it’s high time we become real friends. we share a shoe obsession and an elitist attitude, so we got along famously. i look forward to shopping and target adventures soon!

later that day, i met up with mystery boy for lunch and a movie. i’m a giant pub whore so we went there. there were two separate tables of women eating behind us. the women all bonded over nachos, of all things. unfortunately, i was turned away staring at the couple in matching hiking clothes so i missed the nacho swap. luckily, mystery boy caught the whole thing. what drives a person to walk over to a table of unknown women and ask if they’d like to try your nachos?! oh, yeah…beer.

thanks to mystery boy for catching that little goodie for me; he’s a fantastic partner-in-crime for that very reason! boys with purple shoes are somehow better than the rest.

i hate email chain letters.

i’m never going to believe that my future relationship luck is hanging on the balance of one single email, hello, i don’t have a) luck or b) a relationship to jinx!

so, today i received this little lovely via cell phone:

Fwd:Fwd: Puff puff pass! Dis is a cellular blunt so dont fuck up the rotation! Keep this shit movin’ til the whole world hits it! Happy 420!

since when are we getting forwards via cell phones?! i can’t seem to escape this crap. to forward, or not to forward, that is the question. i’m ok with risking bad blunt luck, as i don’t smoke them, but just in case i pick up the habit between say now and the end of the day, i’ll pass it on to pmk.

so, we all know the deal; 420 is the day to celebrate being a pothead. we’ve all heard that 420 is the cop code for that wacky tobaccy, well not according to snopes:

420 is the penal code section for marijuana use in California.

Nope. Section 420 of the California penal code refers to obstructing entry on public land. The penal codes of other states list different entries for 420, but none of them matches anything having to do with marijuana.

just so you know….