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some have wild friday nights out on the town. some choose to stay home and play with their new kitchen appliances. i am the latter.

i accidentally stopped at target on the way home, and i accidentally bought this…
i immediately canceled plans and invited krissy over to partake of the goodness. i don’t cook, just don’t do it. i have never taken the time to learn and don’t see myself learning anytime soon. however, this i can do! in under 5 minutes i made not only something edible, but GOOD! i am saved. ever since the super-size me induced mcdonald’s boycott i have been craving these like a preggo craves pickles. problem easily solved. everyone needs this new toy. the kitchen is now more than just a place to store coffee and diet coke….it holds food!

who knew…

now if i can avoid what seems to be the micky d’s phenomenon. i don’t want a giant ass, because you know what comes with fast food weight gain right? nascar jackets.
you reading this mom?? stop the snoopy dance madness, nothing changes. i am still against most things kitchen!

i know this week’s top five was a real stretch but i promise to make it up soon. with that said….
top five lies told this week:
1) no, i don’t remember flirting with you.
2) of course i was listening, you have my full attention.
3) you know, this database was well worth all the time and effort.
4) police officers are indeed cute.
5) i never want to see you again.

the biggest lie of them all was #5. i am going to practice meaning it, because some lies just deserve to be truth.

i have been feeling rather lonely lately, blame valentine(-less) day. however, i hope this pity party for one is ending soon.

i have a dear friend who is going through a divorce. hearing about it reminds me that perhaps i don’t really want to have a significant other in my life right now. there are so many lovely things about being single: complete control of the remote, coming home to my apartment to find it the exact same way i left it, no one drinking the last of the vodka without replacing it. yes, apparently i am a drunk control freak. ha ha, i kid (i think?).

i have to remember the last relationship i was in– for comparison value. my god, i should be happy that it’s over, not sad. we all go into new relationships with certain baggage, and hope to leave with those same sized bags. not this time! i need a full-time butler to carry these suckers around. yeah perhaps, i exaggerate but lately it does feel like my baggage has tripled.

after the nightmare commute this morning i am either a) moving to a warmer climate, or b) buying this:

thanks to a hidden wire electronic thingy woven into the fabric, this bodywarmer promises to heat me up using only battery power. HOT! of course not wanting to look like i should be on the cover of a blind melon album i am going to hold out for another color, preferably pink!

thank you maplin electronics, you warm the cockles of my little frozen heart.

someone needs to host a losers only valentine’s day party this year.

even though it is a consumer holiday, i love it to pieces. yes, i am well aware the only reason i adore it so is because of the pink factor. nothing wrong with that. when you love pink as much as i do, of course you are going to enjoy the hell out of a holiday that is bathed in it. no brainer!

sadly, i am not in a relationship this year. so there will be no special someone to celebrate with. no porn, errr…art books, flowers, and value size box of condoms this year as gifts (yes- it really happened once). in past years midge and i have celebrated with dinner, wine, and a “special” gift exchange. alas, this year she has a fiancée to attend to. which means my plans need to consist more than sweat pants, ice cream, and project runway/sex in the city episodes. so, someone please step up and host an alcohol filled pink fest. pretty please, in pink glitter? for me….

i have been known to put off doing my dishes. today, i have vowed this bad habit must end. this being why…

in an attempt to create more room in the sink i created the master disaster, stuck pots! i tried on my own to pull these bastards apart, but nada. luckily for me i have some manpower across the hall. ten minutes, a broken knife, and a promise to immediately do my dishes later the problem was fixed. it’s times like this where i am tempted to move into a cookie cutter apartment for the mere convenience of a dishwasher. funky cool apartment vs. dishwasher…..luckily i can’t make any decisions on a sunday night. tomorrow when i wake up in my fantastic loft i am sure i will be way over it.

my second favorite (first being the pub) thing about going to trolley square is the adventure factor, you always know you are going to witness something out of the ordinary. justin2 and i there today to see capote. i have long since wanted to see it and finally found a willing partner. for once i made it on time (shut-up, it occasionally happens), which left us with sufficient time to wander around. giving me more than sufficient time to poke fun. today’s subject, the bowling pin jugglers. i have often thought about running away and joining the circus. really, who hasn’t? recently the pmk circus had an opening. unfortunately, i didn’t have the free time for stilt lessons. the funny thing is i am not making this up (the knauer’s really did have a family circus). thereby proving my theory– truth is always juicer than fiction. j2 suggested we go see if the spectacle had anything to do with the nerd store upstairs. he suckered me in. i did stop and take a deep breath before entering, as if to pay homage to the nerds that had gone before me. that was a lie. i was actually telling myself i would make it out the same girl. rest assured, i am.

capote is worth seeing. i am still amazed the same man wrote breakfast at tiffany’s and in cold blood, what versatile writing. the execution scene was almost impossible to sit through. i have always had a difficult time witnessing such matters, even though it’s just a film. death by rope freaks me out. we know why. so no need to discuss. walking out the overhead music was johnny cash, how appropriate.

i need to re-read in cold blood. guess a trip to the library is in order, yay (damn nerd store)!

i am playing the good auntie again today, and as usual a very valuable lesson has been learned.
the general population here in utah county are idiots. let me preface the story–my brother has two year old twins, a boy AND girl. when i was out and about with them today i was stopped more than once and asked if they were identical. again, there is a boy AND a girl. apparently in utah county science classes with basic information are not required.

or is it possible senator buttars had something to do with the science curriculum. hmmm….