Contact

part of the reason for starting this blog was to develop humor in my writing, and to have a public forum to make fun of things. we are taught to develop our talents. mine so happens to be poking fun at everything. i could compete and come home with a gold if this ever makes the olympics.

my friend scott called today from ohio or whatever bullshit state he chose over ours. he pointed out that i am not as funny in my writing as i am in life. which i know is true, because i am funny, side splitting pee your pants funny. while i can’t compete with my dear tricks, i still make that attempt. but as scott and i discussed, it’s hard to write with that certain element of humor. i think in part i am a little afraid of offending certain people. silly, isn’t it? when i wrote the post about mark and his addiction to returning i was worried he would feel badly, so i toned it down. well guess what folks. no more. consider it for a moment, sarah-finally unsensored. we need this. you, and i.

1)for my friends– i ask you not to be offended when you are blogged about. you all know i love you or i wouldn’t spend time with you. so, please i beg you, laugh along with me.

2)for my family– you were born for me to make fun of. after all, i am the reason you are even here. i came first and after seeing how fabulous i am our dear parents kept going. four brothers later i am still the better child.

3)for the general public– most of you deserve it. remember what i always say, elitism is rad!

when you work with geeks you either a)become one or b)share their interests from afar. i choose b.

the adventure this week was to view the nols bus, which is powered by recycled veggie oil. i should explain, my geeks have a vested interest in this sort of thing. they have formed a bio-diesel company, ascentra fuels. which has proven to be beneficial to them and entertaining to me. there is nothing quite like watching your pals dive into a crown burger dumpster, on purpose. by day bio-tech brilliance, by night bio-diesel semi-brilliance. watching their process has been interesting, one might even venture to say fun! yes, fun. they have even sparked interest from the local film-makers. they were filmed during the summer for a future documentary. watch out sundance, here they come! now if i could only talk one of them into blogging their bio adventures. hmmm….
as for willie? stick to your tunes, these good ol’boys have bio covered. go hemp!

the mean reds are horrible. suddenly you’re afraid, and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. don’t you ever get that feeling?

do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you are always a step or two behind? sometimes, i do. this week being one of those times. i have tried so hard to fix certain wrongs in my life and it feels like i won’t ever get there. i have tried, i really have. all while holding catholic-like guilt. i have never wanted anyone to take care of me. i like being independent. sometimes to the point that it only hurts me. i have never been one of those girls that need to be taken care of. we all know the type. i am not that type. the past few days i have pondered every relationship i have had with a man. the men that wanted me. really, really wanted me. depsite my stubborn side, depsite all my idiosyncrasies (trust me when i say i have more than my share of them) those men wanted a life with me. i declined. i didn’t feel it. now i have to wonder did i make a mistake with my decisions? it would be nice to have someone there, all the time. someone to help me with life decisions. someone to give me advice-that i more than likely wouldn’t actually take. just, someone.

while i am more than confident with these choices, i can’t help but wonder. what if….

sadly, i can’t just jump into a cab and go to tiffany’s. so i continue, and keep my fingers crossed these last few key choices i have made, while difficult are the best for my future (repeat to self 4 times nightly).

i have a friend, who shall remain nameless… because i’ll be honest, i don’t want him upset with me. but this must be blogged for the sake of entertainment, and face it i love a good story.

nameless my ass, sorry marky, you know i adore you.

mark shops, a lot. AND, mark returns things, a lot. which if you look at it the way we do, it just means you get to shop twice as much. oy! i think after much debate and countless trips to park city our boy has found the perfect jacket. though, my brother came over sunday evening and was wearing a very similar jacket. so if i don’t end up seeing you wearing it soon i will assume you took it back for that very reason. “not that there is anything wrong with that!”

i give mark a hard time for his returning merchandise habit. secretly i am jealous. i crack under the pressure of a return. seriously. when asked the reason i am returning the item, my face turns red and some monstrous lie makes its way out of my mouth. why i can not just say because i changed my mind is beyond me.

so marky, i only tease out of complete and utter return envy.

as advised in the first step, admit we are powerless over our addiction. here it goes….i, sarah middlenameless ______ admit i have an addiction. an addiction to the series lost. go ahead, judge me. i certainly would (and have) of others faced with my current obsession.

replace alcohol with lost and god with matthew fox in the text below and volia, that was my weekend. mark and alex, i am never listening to your tv suggestions again. the addiction is too strong. my eyes hurt, my ass hurts, and unquestionably my couch, as it has two indentations where krissy and i spent the weekend getting our fix.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

why i want to be the president of the united states, the presidential loophole!

thanks to al franken for pointing out in today’s show why i need to run for the commander in chief position that so clearly should be available. apparently when you are president no rules apply to you, and it’s all legal. perfect. since i don’t think they apply to me as is.

you can use all necessary force “during war”, and since we have been told there will ALWAYS be a war on terror….there you have it.

lovely. just lovely.

finally, a use for those rollerblades taking up precious closet space! enter–evening beer run. on my way home i witnessed pure brilliance. a rollerblader on his way home with a case of beer. the boy is my new hero! i can barely walk out of my apartment without hurting myself. an attempted beer run on wheels, would be the death of me. i applaud your spunk mr. beer-man.

i desperately need to start carrying a camera!

e.e. cummings said it best–

a politician is an arse upon
which everyone has sat except a man

the beastie boys. 1993. they completed me.

when i saw them at their movie premiere i was shocked. i guess i figured since i haven’t aged a day they wouldn’t have either. sadly, they have.

but, they still got it!!

in the immortal words of karen carpenter. sundance, we have only just begun. our love affair has long withstood the test of time. i have sat through many horrible films. crying out at the end, i want those 2 hours of my life back! but alas, i still love you. you my dear festival are the only reason for a utah winter. so i shall don my geek glasses and puffy coat and travel up the mountain. the long affair shall continue. after all, i love my kinky boots. RED!!