Hookers, Family and a Healthy Dose of Sibling Rivalry
For years my brother, Ben, and I have been fighting over who my grandma loves more. It’s a ridiculous thing to argue about, as I am clearly the favorite.
Sure, Ben hangs holiday lights for her, but I named my scooter after my grandmother. Plus I have better hair and shower more often.
Ben went to visit my grandparents the weekend before Easter. When I called, all my grandma could talk about was how great it was to see my brother. Rather than be thrilled he made her so happy, I was pissed at him.
I immediately planned a trip the following weekend. It’s important to remind her I’m the one she love the most.
While driving to the country, I left Ben a voicemail with my somewhat deviant plan to win her back. Here’s the voicemail from his phone. Try not to pay attention to my icky manlike voice.
For the record, my grandmother declared me the winner. She encouraged future competition. She said it’s to ensure more visits from the both of us, but I know she’s only going along with it so Ben doesn’t get his feelings hurt. She’s a good woman and doesn’t want to tell my brother she loves me more.
Even though it’s soooooo obvious.
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lovely post, love, but it’s “loves” – sorry, but the grammar marm in me had to speak up. anyway, keep up the good work!
Flowers totally trump girlfriends. Girlfriends come and go. Now if he showed up with a fiancee… then you are totally screwed.
I like how you “ruled out” the hooker. That college education is really helping you in life.
“I really don’t want to get Chlamydia on the seat of my car”
Awesome!
Brilliant. Clearly, you win. That’s not new for you, is it? Is there a way to search your archives for other topics? So many women hide their brilliance to get more male interest, I may need to step-up my SN consumption to keep up morale. Thanks Sarah.