I want to be reincarnated as myself, but with more money, a bigger rack and skinny thighs.
The nerds were talking about reincarnation yesterday. It wasn’t as spiritual as you might think. They use reincarnation as an excuse to talk about what animals they would like to be.
There were a lot of wolf, tiger and ninja requests.
Go figure.
I know ninjas aren’t animals, but you try telling that to a passionate nerd who collects medieval weapons. I really don’t want a Chinese throwing star lodged into my head.
One nerd is unlike all the others. He’s some sort of nerd hybrid who doesn’t believe in playing hypothetical reincarnation games.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
“Sarah, I don’t want to be reincarnated. After 80 years of life I’ll be done.”
“But what would you do in heaven?”
“Relax, listen to music and stuff.”
“I don’t think that’s how heaven works. I’m pretty sure you have some sort of job, like answering prayers for people.”
“Fine. I’ll be a soldier and fight Satan with a big, glowing sword.”
I should have paid closer attention to church as a kid. I had no idea the Bible was written by George Lucas.

Comments
Doesn’t he know that the only music in heaven is the MoTab Choir?
Never desire a bigger rack. You’ll be begging for a smaller one once you realize you have to buy bigger clothes strictly to fit around the damn things. Never mind always looking pregnant from the overhang…
Ah, but Star Wars IS the bible.
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I’m just going to go ahead and agree with Mez. If I gain an ounce, my boobs grow, and after living with a big chest and living with a small one, I have to say small is the way to go. When I get around to having mine “Done” I’m going to shoot for a 34B.
True story – as a kid I was always ashamed to admit how utterly BORING heaven sounded. What I remember is that you do a lot of singing and worshiping – and MAN that seems like it would get old.