My Birthday Wish
Dear RLO,
Mark your calendar; my birthday is one month from today. For my birthday I would like a month long celebration. And as everyone knows, no celebration is complete without cake. Your job is cake–a month of cake.
You’re busy with school, I know, so rather than a daily cake just keep me in continuous cake. I’ll try and eat slow, but no written promises. Is this really too much to ask of you? I think not. You’re already skating on thin ice as it is. That chocolate you brought into the movie last night was horrible. And this busy thing? It’s getting old. Your roommate only has one birthday per year. I swear this is the 14th time you’ve had to stay home to celebrate. I’m onto you RLO. You do realize you can be replaced, right?
Just yesterday I had lunch with a new friend, Summer, who I met through blogging. I wished all of my female readers lived in SLC so we could get together and have one giant sleepover. Of course hundreds of woman may result in a giant catfight, or porn. Either way I could video the event and sell to my male readers, which will pay my tuition. I’ll consider it a scholarship, ahem.
Out of that many woman there’s got to be a BFF. If I were you, I’d get yourself to the grocery store for baking supplies. If you don’t come through on the cake thing, I’m going to have to find another BFF. Consider yourself warned.
Love,
Sarah
Comments
You are sooo smart. The video idea? Brilliant! Fighting or porn–either way, men will buy it (they’re not that picky.)
Aren’t fighting and porn the same?
Or is it that they go hand in hand?
Oh hell, I can’t remember.
Hey, the best porn would be RLO in his apron, serving the women cake.
Porn and cake. Yes, now that’s what I’m talkin about!
Did someone say porn?
I work from home. And I love baking. You can tell RLO I said so.
Speaking of porno, I can’t wait for this:
http://movies.ign.com/dor/objects/964901/zack-and-miri-make-a-porno/videos/zack_miri_green_091808.html
RLO – you are welcome to come to our place to make the cakes – just make extra.
OK. I’m in on your little porn scheme but I have 2 conditions. 1) I get a portion of the profits to help with my tuition too. 2) You have to share some of the RLO cake with me. Otherwise, no deal!
This definitely calls for cupcakes. I mean, it’s right in the name – cup of cake. You get a wee portioned cup of cake everyday. That way your (or should I say “ones”) ass doesn’t end up ballooning into sheet cake size. No one likes that.
Mmmmm caaaake.
i’m volunteering my kitchen to RLO and will help with the baking, too. and i’m already a porn star! ahem. so, well, it will help with the scholarship.
no, really, it will. cake and porn is a no brainer!
I really do think he’s been carefully warned and that you covered all the loopholes.
Maybe you could audition all of us bloggers (horrible grammar notwithstanding)for your new BFF. Hey, Paris can do it, so can you!
If all of your female readers lived in SLC, I think your biggest challenge would be agreeing on a husband!
If I show up in Utah with a cake as big as a month, do I win the new BFF award?
like you even had to think about that one… RLO SHOULD be scared.
I do love cake. And I pretty awesome at baking it too.
Hmm, since I will be in Utah, do I get to participate?
mmmm cake and porn.