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The only thing that will renew my faith in a higher power has arrived: healthy chocolate.

I saw this car parked outside the office yesterday and stalked it for a good twenty minutes. I ran through all the scenarios in my head of what I would do when I found the person behind this “healthy chocolate.” And every single scenario resulted in lots and lots of leg humping.

Sadly the owner of the car never appeared, so I’ll never really know the story behind the healthy chocolate, but since the sticker was on a Mercedes and not a 1999 Dodge Neon I’d like to believe it held some validity.

This week’s installment of “That’s What She Said.”  A letter written to our future White House occupant–before, of course, the election took place.  Change=pink, people.  Now let’s stop with the hateful comments OK?  This blog is supposed to be fun, and frankly the hate takes the fun right out of it for me.

There is nothing I can say that isn’t being said elsewhere.  And truthfully I can’t sit still long enough to collect my thoughts.  I’m too busy dancing, crying and then dancing some more.  History in the making.  Sweet, beautiful history… and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Today I was forced to vote old school: WITH A PAPER BALLOT!

After months of preparing to vote I walked into my assigned polling station this morning to discover my name wasn’t listed on the electoral role.  I’ve obsessively checked the county website for months so I know I’m registered.  Right before I was about to burst into tears of frustration I was told I could cast a provisional ballot.  It was actually sort of cool to get my retro on and fill out a ballot by hand.  I’m a tad worried about the whole affair, but am going to remain hopeful that my vote will indeed count… well count as much as a Democratic vote in Utah can count.

Vote!

For my birthday this year I told every single one of my friends I didn’t want to celebrate.  I made idle threats to anyone who wanted to make a big deal of the day, including my mother.  Luckily Summer and RLO didn’t listen to me and insisted we at least have brunch and see a movie.  They both knew I’d end up regretting the birthday hermit plan, and I probably would have.

When Summer surprised me with Metallica tickets I nearly broke down in tears.  Sad but true. HA, did you catch that?  Oh yeah, country girl knows her Metallica songs.  I loved the band when I was younger and knowing that she cared enough to make it possible for me to see them was the highlight of my day.

RLO, too, was in a gift giving mode.  He gave me two presents, both of which he was morally against:

He hates the thought of me collecting Pyrex, which makes no sense whatsoever.  He also detests the fact that I always want things with Splenda rather than sugar, only proving he wants me to live long enough to torture him for years to come. So the fact he put aside his hate and bought me a Pyrex book and my favorite coffee flavoring with Splenda proves he really is a good friend in spite of the fact I’m so horrible to him.

Thanks to everyone who called, emailed, left blog/Twitter comments and sent text messages. I’m genuinely touched over how caring, not just my friends, but complete strangers can be.  I’m a lucky lady, and it sort of makes being older not quite so horrible. Thank you!

A vote for Obama, is a birthday present for me!

I had lunch with my mom today to celebrate my birthday tomorrow.  Because I came out of her she gets dibs on all birthday celebrations.  I can live with that.

This is how I expected the conversation to go:

“Honey you’re the most amazing, perfect, beautiful daughter in the entire world.  I’m so incredibly lucky to have you.  It’s the reason I believe in God.  I asked for the most lovely daughter in heaven and ended up with you.  That said, what do you want for your birthday?”

“I want you to vote for Obama on Tuesday.”

“I will happily vote for Obama.  It’s the least I could do for your birthday my dear.”

This is how it really went:

“Happy birthday tomorrow!  If we lived closer I’d do your laundry.”

It’s not vote for a better presidency, but clean clothes certainly have a place in history too.

Princess Daisy wishes everyone a happy Halloween. Me? I hope everyone gets fat from all the candy. This was obviously the wrong time of year to try and cut back on sugar and results in a bitter, mean Sarah. Meaner than usual. Better?

Let there be cake, lots and lots of chocolate cake! Here’s the birthday edition of “That’s What She Said.”

Last night, just as I was walking up the last flight of stairs for my math class, I received a test message from Summer asking if I wanted to play hooky and go the the Jason Mraz concert with her.

I should add that Summer, too, was supposed to be in math class.  I should also add that I don’t even listen to Mraz. I only know who he is because one of his song titles has the word pink in it.  See, random Google searches for containing the words “pink” and “song” are beneficial!

When she mentioned the tickets were in a suite that would likely be catered I turned around and walked back to my car, leaving my education behind.  FOR MUSIC I DON’T EVEN LIKE! No wonder I’m still working on my bachelor’s degree at 32.

When I fail college algebra I only have myself to blame.  Well, and Kelli, because she wouldn’t fly out here twice a week and take the damn class for me.  What a bitch that girl is.

The best part of the night was not the concert—we left after two songs—but seeing this on the door of the E-Center:

(Insert high pitch squeals here.)