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I love hearing from readers, not as much as I love wine, but a VERY close second!

Thanks!

snow is bullshit….

after the nightmare commute this morning i am either a) moving to a warmer climate, or b) buying this:


thanks to a hidden wire electronic thingy woven into the fabric, this bodywarmer promises to heat me up using only battery power. HOT! of course not wanting to look like i should be on the cover of a blind melon album i am going to hold out for another color, preferably pink!

thank you maplin electronics, you warm the cockles of my little frozen heart.

s(elf esteem)-bux

dear s-bux boys,

my first favorite thing about sbux is an americano with an inch of cold soy. my second favorite thing about s-bux is when you cute barrista boys flirt with me. nothing is better for the self esteem of this 30 year old then the pretty hipster boys flirting with me.

perhaps they teach you in your training video. whatever the case, please never ever stop. i am eternally grateful to you boys, you bring me happiness in so many ways.

love, sarah

happy hallmark day!

all bitterness aside, happy valentine’s day everyone!
may all your sexual fantasies be fulfilled tonight….

date for the date-less?

someone needs to host a losers only valentine’s day party this year.

even though it is a consumer holiday, i love it to pieces. yes, i am well aware the only reason i adore it so is because of the pink factor. nothing wrong with that. when you love pink as much as i do, of course you are going to enjoy the hell out of a holiday that is bathed in it. no brainer!

sadly, i am not in a relationship this year. so there will be no special someone to celebrate with. no porn, errr…art books, flowers, and value size box of condoms this year as gifts (yes- it really happened once). in past years midge and i have celebrated with dinner, wine, and a “special” gift exchange. alas, this year she has a fiancée to attend to. which means my plans need to consist more than sweat pants, ice cream, and project runway/sex in the city episodes. so, someone please step up and host an alcohol filled pink fest. pretty please, in pink glitter? for me….

DISHeveled….

i have been known to put off doing my dishes. today, i have vowed this bad habit must end. this being why…

in an attempt to create more room in the sink i created the master disaster, stuck pots! i tried on my own to pull these bastards apart, but nada. luckily for me i have some manpower across the hall. ten minutes, a broken knife, and a promise to immediately do my dishes later the problem was fixed. it’s times like this where i am tempted to move into a cookie cutter apartment for the mere convenience of a dishwasher. funky cool apartment vs. dishwasher…..luckily i can’t make any decisions on a sunday night. tomorrow when i wake up in my fantastic loft i am sure i will be way over it.

vaudeville square

my second favorite (first being the pub) thing about going to trolley square is the adventure factor, you always know you are going to witness something out of the ordinary. justin2 and i there today to see capote. i have long since wanted to see it and finally found a willing partner. for once i made it on time (shut-up, it occasionally happens), which left us with sufficient time to wander around. giving me more than sufficient time to poke fun. today’s subject, the bowling pin jugglers. i have often thought about running away and joining the circus. really, who hasn’t? recently the pmk circus had an opening. unfortunately, i didn’t have the free time for stilt lessons. the funny thing is i am not making this up (the knauer’s really did have a family circus). thereby proving my theory– truth is always juicer than fiction. j2 suggested we go see if the spectacle had anything to do with the nerd store upstairs. he suckered me in. i did stop and take a deep breath before entering, as if to pay homage to the nerds that had gone before me. that was a lie. i was actually telling myself i would make it out the same girl. rest assured, i am.

capote is worth seeing. i am still amazed the same man wrote breakfast at tiffany’s and in cold blood, what versatile writing. the execution scene was almost impossible to sit through. i have always had a difficult time witnessing such matters, even though it’s just a film. death by rope freaks me out. we know why. so no need to discuss. walking out the overhead music was johnny cash, how appropriate.

i need to re-read in cold blood. guess a trip to the library is in order, yay (damn nerd store)!

utard county

i am playing the good auntie again today, and as usual a very valuable lesson has been learned.
the general population here in utah county are idiots. let me preface the story–my brother has two year old twins, a boy AND girl. when i was out and about with them today i was stopped more than once and asked if they were identical. again, there is a boy AND a girl. apparently in utah county science classes with basic information are not required.

or is it possible senator buttars had something to do with the science curriculum. hmmm….

apple-bux




i absolutely love apple products, however i can’t stand the apple store. while it is cool looking with the hot apple tattoo boys in true religion jeans (i guess if you have to wait that long for service they want you to have something pretty to look at), the service level notsomuch…

my 40 gig ipod broke a couple months ago. don’t worry, i have a nano so i am still with pod. i have one month left on my warranty, so time to get it fixed. much to the dismay of a certain friend and my geek squad i have procrastinated this for quite a while.

no more.

the geeks and i hit the gateway for lunch yesterday in attempt to get the damn thing taken care of. out of spite i didn’t want to go. out of spite for apple, and out of spite for my bossy friends. for some unknown reason they make the process so difficult. studio bar, genius bar —just fix it already.

i have an appointment with the apple genii this afternoon. it took everything not to laugh at them when they said that! it reminds me of the sandwich shop by my office, where they are referred to as sandwich artists. l-a-m-e! to get an appointment i had to get online earlier than the usual 9 am. in case you are wondering what the hell i am doing blogging at the ass crack of dawn.

now, if i can just get out of the gateway without spending an ungodly amount of money on jeans….ohhh lolabella. sarah, focus on the task at hand (repeat in head–apple and sbux)! steve jobs, depending on the frustration level after this outing please expect my retail therapy bill in the mail. mmm…thanks

friday five, early again.

this week’s top five comes after a couple trip to stores this week i found humiliating! so here it is–top five stores you would wear a disguise in, if you thought it wouldn’t attract even more attention….

1 wal-mart–obvious reasons. it’s the people who aren’t embarassed that worry me.

2 sam’s club–i promise i don’t have a membership. blame politico, as i only go with him.

3 reams–i swear on daisy, i only go there for dry ice runs. work, not bombs (usually).

4 best buy–i attempt to keep my geekiness at a low, being seen in this store undoes all the hard work.

5 batteries plus–get your mind out of the gutter you dirty people, there are other reasons women buy batteries.

highest value?

al and i are broken up. yup, you read right. no more, it’s over–at least for now.

why you ask?

charging for the air america podcast.
the al franken show was my first and favorite podcast. the only one i listened to religiously. monday’s show was the last of the franken freebie era. i am sure i will end up pulling out the old credit card and suscribing after i pout for a couple days! until then, broooken-up!