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the geeks and i went on a field trip today to pick up some some geek supplies for jeff. destination–hydrapak seals. for you lucky non-geek hanging folk, this is THE destination for o-rings and any other type of seals. yawn.

while jeff was discussing o-ring pickers (whatever) i was looking around for my own entertainment. when i found this:

chaaa-ching!! business card for none other than warren jeffs, famous and oh so wanted leader of the FLDS church. entertaining isn’t it? wait, there’s more….scott peterson works there too! who needs the fbi. we have detective sarah and her trusty geeks on the job!

i was in a rush today so i had to grab coffee at the maverick gas station rather than sbux. i really need to work on their ads, little bit country…little bit white trash. who cares if it offends them. it’s true, which is why i go there. prime people watching!

anyway.

as i was walking out, in walked a war veteren. he had to be in his late 70’s or so. he was in full uniform, and by full uniform i mean even his oxygen talk had dress blues! it reminded me of a time when seeing someone in uniform meant something to me. as opposed to now. now when i see someone in uniform i am only reminded of a war i don’t believe in. i would offer my full opinionated sarah trash talk here but honestly i am not in the mood. WHA?? me not in the mood to shit talk the current administration? obviously that coffee didn’t give me quite the boost i was hoping for. i remember being little sarah and seeing my grandpa’s uniform in grandma red-car’s closet. i don’t have many memories of him, he died when i was really young. seeing the uniform as a child was impressive. something of honor and respect for a man i only knew through pictures. seeing the maverick man brought that all back. sadly, my grandmother is now gone as well, so i am unable to make a quick trip down memory lane.

i can’t help but wonder…..will i ever be a proud american again? or was that only something of my childhood….

is it just me or do the rest of you find it nearly impossible to sense the mood of someone while conversing through messenger? often i have found myself completely annoyed at someone while chatting, only to find i am taking things the wrong way. which is easy to do a) when typing on a computer, and b)when the person you are conversing with is attempting humor that is left un-sensed.

i propose msn mood-eger.

remember those fabulous mood rings from our teenage years? i loved those! why can’t the keys on our beloved ibooks sense our moods the same way those delightfully tacky silver rings did? the typing will change colors depending on your current mood. of course i say ibook because typing with mood-eger will be something only the very cool will use (enter apple).

until then…..this will have to do.

OR

condoleezza”sometimes she just looks like the devil” rice

my brother took me to the jazz game last night. it wasn’t until i walked into the delta center that i remembered i had sworn off of larry miller. oops! oh well. i glared at him from across the court everytime i remembered. as ben pointed out countless times it does no good. i know this, but it still feels good. despite the possible wrinkles i am causing.

can someone please explain to me why the delta center can not let your lid remain on your coke bottles? has this always been the case? of course i would have no idea as i spend my money on better liquid (read-beer). remember in elementary school when you saved soup can labels to buy new equipment? perhaps the jazz really are doing so poorly they need additional funds for new equipment.

and what is with the alcohol enforcement officers? as if anyone is going to get trashed at 6 bucks a cup. come on.

to the girl behind me i want you to know there is a fine line between being an enthusiastic fan and a obnoxious twit. you crossed that line 4 minutes into the game. since you were with your mum i chose not to point that out. i should not expect much after seeing her pants. i have never seen so many star studs on one pair of jeans. gross. you should have gotten the hint you were hated when the people sitting next to you moved. duh. i understand your excitement as i too love basketball. BUT, you bugged the hell out of me. your wal-mart jeans and your nascar jacket only provoked me. Unfortunately for my readers ben made me play nice. he is soooo going to heaven for keeping his sissy in line.

no, i didn’t get punched and make millions. maybe next time.

happy 29th birthday! enjoy this year, because it’s all you got left of those glorious 20’s. trust me when i say this year will go by fast. i know, from experience.

you will always be 16 to me, hot lips.

Inventory, Dorothy Parker

Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I’d been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. Three be the things I shall have till I die: Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

we all do it. we pretend we have read and enjoyed a book we really haven’t and didn’t, just for the sake of impressing others. some of us can just admit it. maybe i have watched high fidelity one too many times or maybe it was just talking to scott one too many times this week. whatever the case here you have it…..

top five books you say you enjoyed to impress others, but really didn’t:
1 this side of paradise, i didn’t even finish it!
2 lolita, yaaaawwwwn.
3 the winter of our discontent, oh please we all lied about that one. we only like it for the title.
4 in cold blood, dear god that was bloody! you have to lie about this one, capote factor.
5 life of pi, religion and ocean water? come on. color me bored and thirsty.

yeah, yeah…i know. get over it. at least i read, unlike some. namely branden, remember that leash? he only read words in magazine form or on the back of a vitamin (read; pretend steroid) bottle. only proving to us that pretty boys really are dumb. and who said that stereotyping was a bad thing?

part of the reason for starting this blog was to develop humor in my writing, and to have a public forum to make fun of things. we are taught to develop our talents. mine so happens to be poking fun at everything. i could compete and come home with a gold if this ever makes the olympics.

my friend scott called today from ohio or whatever bullshit state he chose over ours. he pointed out that i am not as funny in my writing as i am in life. which i know is true, because i am funny, side splitting pee your pants funny. while i can’t compete with my dear tricks, i still make that attempt. but as scott and i discussed, it’s hard to write with that certain element of humor. i think in part i am a little afraid of offending certain people. silly, isn’t it? when i wrote the post about mark and his addiction to returning i was worried he would feel badly, so i toned it down. well guess what folks. no more. consider it for a moment, sarah-finally unsensored. we need this. you, and i.

1)for my friends– i ask you not to be offended when you are blogged about. you all know i love you or i wouldn’t spend time with you. so, please i beg you, laugh along with me.

2)for my family– you were born for me to make fun of. after all, i am the reason you are even here. i came first and after seeing how fabulous i am our dear parents kept going. four brothers later i am still the better child.

3)for the general public– most of you deserve it. remember what i always say, elitism is rad!

when you work with geeks you either a)become one or b)share their interests from afar. i choose b.

the adventure this week was to view the nols bus, which is powered by recycled veggie oil. i should explain, my geeks have a vested interest in this sort of thing. they have formed a bio-diesel company, ascentra fuels. which has proven to be beneficial to them and entertaining to me. there is nothing quite like watching your pals dive into a crown burger dumpster, on purpose. by day bio-tech brilliance, by night bio-diesel semi-brilliance. watching their process has been interesting, one might even venture to say fun! yes, fun. they have even sparked interest from the local film-makers. they were filmed during the summer for a future documentary. watch out sundance, here they come! now if i could only talk one of them into blogging their bio adventures. hmmm….
as for willie? stick to your tunes, these good ol’boys have bio covered. go hemp!

the mean reds are horrible. suddenly you’re afraid, and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. don’t you ever get that feeling?

do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you are always a step or two behind? sometimes, i do. this week being one of those times. i have tried so hard to fix certain wrongs in my life and it feels like i won’t ever get there. i have tried, i really have. all while holding catholic-like guilt. i have never wanted anyone to take care of me. i like being independent. sometimes to the point that it only hurts me. i have never been one of those girls that need to be taken care of. we all know the type. i am not that type. the past few days i have pondered every relationship i have had with a man. the men that wanted me. really, really wanted me. depsite my stubborn side, depsite all my idiosyncrasies (trust me when i say i have more than my share of them) those men wanted a life with me. i declined. i didn’t feel it. now i have to wonder did i make a mistake with my decisions? it would be nice to have someone there, all the time. someone to help me with life decisions. someone to give me advice-that i more than likely wouldn’t actually take. just, someone.

while i am more than confident with these choices, i can’t help but wonder. what if….

sadly, i can’t just jump into a cab and go to tiffany’s. so i continue, and keep my fingers crossed these last few key choices i have made, while difficult are the best for my future (repeat to self 4 times nightly).