Contact

For a moment last week I forgot I was 31. You see, I purposely purchased tickets to attend the Matt Costa/Rilo Kiley/Modest Mouse, which was held at Utah Valley State College in Orem. Yes, Orem.

A 31 year old single female should be home knitting or collecting tacky porcelain figurines, not kicking it with kids. I know this, but I couldn’t pass up the chance to see three artists I love.

Waiting in line I couldn’t help but notice Maddie and me were the single oldest people there. Hold on, I retract that statement. Excluding the senior citizen ticket taker we were the elders in this group. As the night progressed we noticed a scattering of “adults” in the crowd. Each time this happened eye contact was made, the look passed between the stranger and I was one of comfort–knowing we weren’t the only gently worn souls in attendance.

Matt Costa was amazing, even better live. I am thrilled when that happens, it reminds me the artists really are talented and don’t just employ a talented recording studio.

Rilo Kiley was just what I expected: full of soulful lyrics. She has a stage presence that exceeded my expectations. How this dainty little thing could belt out such amazing lyrics is beyond me. She moved me…in spirit and body.

Luckily for me I am well-versed in all things Modest Mouse and knew chances of a live show being as good as the recorded music were low. I was correct. The lead singer, Isaac Brock, is a yeller. He’s known for his crazy onstage antics. This I was looking forward to, and he did not disappoint. At one point in the show he gave up on his microphone and sang into his guitar. The acoustics at this particular venue are less than ideal, but I shouldn’t expect much out of a college gym, right?

Did I learn my lesson? Not a chance. I’m headed back down to Utah County to see Rocky Votolato. I have no one to blame but myself.

Daisy has a bed on the floor and a dirty laundry pile to sleep on, yet I still woke up to this today:
She is exactly like a boyfriend; She snores loudly, farts in her sleep and steals the good pillow.

To read my column for In Utah This Week click here. It’s time someone benefits from my crap dates–and why shouldn’t it be you?

1) All age concerts in Orem, Utah. Ugg.

2) My friend’s son sent me a friend request on MySpace. Enough said.

3) I recently found when I jump as high as I can on a trampoline I pee a little.

4) I’m considering dating someone with kids. This is something I’ve avoided in the past, but I’m quickly realizing men my age that are completely unattached are usually that way for a reason.

5)I have fiber supplements in my medicine cupboard.

6) I have a medicine cupboard.

Sarah: “What is that funky smell?”

Ben: “I’m sure it’s me, but I don’t know where it would be coming from… I showered.”

S: “With soap?”

B: “This time, yeah.”

S: “Maybe it’s your breath.”

B: “Nah, I brushed my teeth. Do you have gum?”

S: “No, but there’s some clear vanilla mint lip-gloss.”

B: “I wonder if it’s because I didn’t use toothpaste.”

S: “Ben, seriously how hard is it to take the extra half of a second to put toothpaste on your brush?”

B: “I know, I know… but did I tell you I used soap in the shower?”

Dear Aunt Patch,

Thank you for having Ben and I over for dinner tonight. For some reason Sunday’s are always my lonely day. I long for after church dinner (sans church, of course) with my Mom and even my grumpy Dad. You have no idea how much it meant to me to that that sense of family for a few hours. Your “Nielson skills” amaze me. Tonight you had more Nielson’s at your dinner table than most people are comfortable with. We’re a hard lot to handle, or so I’ve been told. This may be true, but we make up for it in laughs and great buns.

You have an excellent sense of humor–in my family that is a must. I can’t wait to spend more time with you. I’d even give you 46 minutes at Ikea, that’s how happy I am to have a new Aunt in town.

Thank you for joining our family and showing my Uncle the love he deserves. He’s a special man and has always been my favorite. Also, thanks for providing me with a young cousin again. It’s nice to have youth around. (Real youth, not the youth I provide.)

I’m thrilled Uncle Cabbage Patch married you and not his nose.

Love,

Sarah

Last summer I found myself dating two men I deeply cared about: Captain America and The Adult. When each relationship ended we promised to stay friends. I know it rarely works, but I had high hopes. Both men were really great guys, or so I thought.

When a storm left my apt. without power for two days I asked The Adult if I could crash with him. I didn’t think it was big deal. After all that we’ve been through we remain friends. I guess his idea of friendship is far different than mine. When my friends need me I do everything I can to help–just ask Midge. I was shocked when he told me no. Ak and Mrs. Ak didn’t have power either, Ben was MIA and I really didn’t want to drive clear to the burbs to crash with Uncle Cabbage Patch (who I don’t think even had an extra bed set up yet). He said it was a bad night for him and maybe another time. Funny, but I can’t really plan power outages around his schedule. I couldn’t believe he was leaving me hanging yet again. This is quickly turning into his new and far from improved personality, and I’m quickly learning he isn’t such a great guy at all.

Last Sunday’s snuff from Capt. America was surprising, but when it happened again I found myself really hurt. In Utah This Week had a booth at the Avenues street fair yesterday, as Daisy and I were walking through the crowd I saw him and his girlfriend. He looked at me and then Daisy and turned around without saying a word. How do you not even say hello to someone you once claimed to love? I was livid. So I sent him a text message letting him know of all the men I’ve dated, I’d never expect him to end up being that guy. He left a voice mail in apology but it doesn’t matter. Twice in one week… the damage is done.