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anyone who knows me knows i detest scary movies. hate. hate. hate them! when i saw half of silence of the lambs in high school i slept on my parents floor for a week and a half. did you read the part where i said i was in HIGH SCHOOL?

it’s haunted me ever since.

with all my free time these days i’ve hit my life to do list. number 47: watch silence of the lambs the entire way through.

since i’m such a procrastinator i’ve now watched every movie in the hannibal lecter series except silence of the lambs. all during the middle of the day at marky’s house, because for some reason his house is immune to serial killers. this prevention didn’t stop me from freaking out. one night when i was supposed to meet friends for drinks, i wouldn’t leave the house because i was too afraid. (see guys! you thought being afraid of hannibal lecter was just an excuse to avoid the bar.)

today i’m going to marky’s place to finally watch the movie. i’ll be happy to cross it off my list, though i’ll be sad to let go of the hannibal lecter diet. i’ve lost a few pounds being so grossed out each time i see food. i wonder if i could trademark and sell that diet…

i’m making progress. i finally dumped the yuppie’s bathroom supplies today. i felt guilty doing it, but it’s done nonetheless. when i bought this bathroom garbage can years ago i had no idea just how fitting it would be.

i went to a friend’s house last night for a bbq. in her invite she told me to bring someone who made me happy, and since there’s nobody filling that part at the moment i took ben. ben who doesn’t know the difference between trees and weeds. seriously this kid is nuts, which makes me look normal and that’s always a plus.

the hostess with the mostess mentioned a friend of hers thought she knew me. when she mentioned the name it took me a few minutes to think of how this girl could possibly know me. she mentioned where in slc she grew up and the fact her family had ten kids. bingo! that was enough to dig into the deep sarah memories and come up with where she knows me from. her parents used to babysit me before we moved to the country. she had to have been six or so at the time, i was eight. the only thing i could remember was lots and lots of kids and a constant supply of oranges. oh, and i think i may have been in love with one of her brothers.

i couldn’t believe she would remember me from just a name and not seeing me. it’s not like my name is distinct in any way. that kind of memory is only something i dream of having. as it is, i can barely remember to get dressed before leaving the house.

ben and i had a family day today. we finally made it over to cafe niche for brunch. i’ve been hearing good things and it’s relatively close to my house, so we went. the food was much to my liking and only half to ben’s liking. the reason? they served salad with his eggs. when i asked him what the big deal was he said, “i like the idea of salad, but it’s too much work–keeping it on your fork and all.” it’s moments like that i realize there is no denying we are brother and sister.

afterwards we met aimee and lo at the 337 project since i hadn’t been yet. i was waiting for a photographer friend of mine to have time, but sadly that didn’t work out. (anyone out there who took professional-ish shots that want to share, by all means…) i’d seen some photos online and was really hoping to have a couple done i could frame for my place. it’s summer, i need to revamp my walls.

oddly, all my favorite rooms were the bathrooms, like these:

thanks to everyone who came out last night in support of in utah this week! we had a great time and sorry to all those i spilled drinks on. i told you i was a klutz. for everyone who had pics taken make sure to be watching the website and paper to see them.

(to check out a couple pics go here.)

i had dinner last night with banjo ben. i’m amazed he will still be seen in public with me. over dinner the following were uttered in complete annoyance:

“sarah, i will not feel your leg muscles. i’m sure they feel exactly the same they did yesterday. no one grows new muscles overnight.”

“come on! get a boyfriend, i’m NOT paying for you to take pole dancing classes. i don’t care how column worthy it is.”

“sarah, my drink doesn’t taste like your deodorant smells. it’s freaking rice milk.”

click here to read this week’s column.

and if you’re looking for something to do tonight, come to in’s first birthday party! because really, what else is there to do?

I’m single. Did you catch that? Yes, The Yuppie and I are no longer dating. I wish I had a good reason why we aren’t, but I don’t.

Sometimes there just isn’t that connection you desire. I thought it was there at first, but it quickly faded as we settled into a dating routine. He was great on paper—educated, large, um, vocabulary, nice looking and above all had the patience to deal with me. But there was something missing: the belly warmth. You know what I’m talking about, right? That feeling in your stomach only a member of the opposite sex brings, or wood grain alcohol.

I wanted to fall for him. It just didn’t happen. After two months I should have felt a lot more than for him than I did. In the end I just felt anxious. Anxious because I had this amazing guy who seemed to fancy me, and as hard as I tried I just wasn’t there. I didn’t have any feelings to reciprocate.

What I was feeling (or not feeling) inside transferred into my lousy actions. We had plans to meet for drinks after he finished up work last week. Huge mistake! I’m happy The Jazz are doing so well, but I want my downtown back–the downtown where I can find parking. After 20 minutes of searching for a spot I finally gave up and tried paying for a parking space. The parking lot attendant didn’t have change for a $20. What the hell? After a heated discussion (read: me yelling at the attendant) I got pissed and went home. Sending The Yuppie a quick text explaining my patience was shot and we’d have to get drinks on a non-game night. He was less than pleased.

What followed was sort of a whirlwind.

He left all the items I’d had at his house on my doorstep. Ironically I was in the middle of composing an email to him when he sent a text message informing he’d done so. My email was apologetic for my recent behavior and just explained I wasn’t there. (It may seem crummy to email it rather than discuss in person, but I’m better with written words. I always manage to make a mess of a serious conversation, leaving important details out.)

The following morning I received a reply email from The Yuppie. Which left me in tears. He pointed out my flaws. I know I have them, who doesn’t? I just don’t want them pointed out to me. His email also suggested when I wrote this column I title it, “Convenient parking…more important than the Yuppie?” Another sting.

Like the good man he is, he wished me the best and mentioned there were no hard feelings. It needed to happen, I’m just confused. Who broke up with whom?

Since then I’ve been in a funk. Sure it wasn’t the relationship for me, but I still can’t stand the feeling of failure. And here I had yet another failed relationship.

I have yet to rid my apartment of his toothbrush and contact case. I guess I’m in denial that another relationship bit the dust. I can’t help but notice a similar pattern: Sarah dates great guy; Sarah doesn’t keep great guy. Why this happens I’m not sure… I need Prozac, therapy or wine. I think I’ll go with the latter—it’s much cheaper and I’m on a budget.

i had lunch with my geeks today. guess which one is sporting this new accessory (the sticker not phone)? i’ll give you a hint… he never attended school in wyoming.

i want my money back. i did not leave happy, because today, i am less one brother.

this morning i had breakfast with my parents, ben and chady-bear. after breakfast my parent’s took chady to the mtc. i wasn’t successful in talking him out of going on a mission. he’s stubborn, just like a true nielson.

on the drive to provo i pointed out to ben our parents must love him more, because his last meal was held somewhere much better. he pointed out our parents love both he and chady more, because they’ve never sent me on a two year vacation. ben sucks.

i need a job soon. pinching pennies totally sucks. doing just that, i went to the library rather than the bookstore. i dragged marky, my daytime partner-in-crime, who is always up for an adventure and doesn’t mind my snarky remarks. while looking for books i ran across this cute little bookmark, “have a nice day and when you find this do the same as i have and leave it somewhere in the library.” i wanted to bring it home and put it on my fridge, but marky, being the voice of reason, pointed out it may result in bad karma. while i’m job hunting bad karma isn’t something i’m willing to chance.

oh, and that saving money thing? apparently when you lose a library book in 2003 and forget about it until 2007 your fines are $76. shit.