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i have a friend, who shall remain nameless… because i’ll be honest, i don’t want him upset with me. but this must be blogged for the sake of entertainment, and face it i love a good story.

nameless my ass, sorry marky, you know i adore you.

mark shops, a lot. AND, mark returns things, a lot. which if you look at it the way we do, it just means you get to shop twice as much. oy! i think after much debate and countless trips to park city our boy has found the perfect jacket. though, my brother came over sunday evening and was wearing a very similar jacket. so if i don’t end up seeing you wearing it soon i will assume you took it back for that very reason. “not that there is anything wrong with that!”

i give mark a hard time for his returning merchandise habit. secretly i am jealous. i crack under the pressure of a return. seriously. when asked the reason i am returning the item, my face turns red and some monstrous lie makes its way out of my mouth. why i can not just say because i changed my mind is beyond me.

so marky, i only tease out of complete and utter return envy.

as advised in the first step, admit we are powerless over our addiction. here it goes….i, sarah middlenameless ______ admit i have an addiction. an addiction to the series lost. go ahead, judge me. i certainly would (and have) of others faced with my current obsession.

replace alcohol with lost and god with matthew fox in the text below and volia, that was my weekend. mark and alex, i am never listening to your tv suggestions again. the addiction is too strong. my eyes hurt, my ass hurts, and unquestionably my couch, as it has two indentations where krissy and i spent the weekend getting our fix.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

why i want to be the president of the united states, the presidential loophole!

thanks to al franken for pointing out in today’s show why i need to run for the commander in chief position that so clearly should be available. apparently when you are president no rules apply to you, and it’s all legal. perfect. since i don’t think they apply to me as is.

you can use all necessary force “during war”, and since we have been told there will ALWAYS be a war on terror….there you have it.

lovely. just lovely.

finally, a use for those rollerblades taking up precious closet space! enter–evening beer run. on my way home i witnessed pure brilliance. a rollerblader on his way home with a case of beer. the boy is my new hero! i can barely walk out of my apartment without hurting myself. an attempted beer run on wheels, would be the death of me. i applaud your spunk mr. beer-man.

i desperately need to start carrying a camera!

e.e. cummings said it best–

a politician is an arse upon
which everyone has sat except a man

the beastie boys. 1993. they completed me.

when i saw them at their movie premiere i was shocked. i guess i figured since i haven’t aged a day they wouldn’t have either. sadly, they have.

but, they still got it!!

in the immortal words of karen carpenter. sundance, we have only just begun. our love affair has long withstood the test of time. i have sat through many horrible films. crying out at the end, i want those 2 hours of my life back! but alas, i still love you. you my dear festival are the only reason for a utah winter. so i shall don my geek glasses and puffy coat and travel up the mountain. the long affair shall continue. after all, i love my kinky boots. RED!!

truth be told i am not an html princess, obviously. case and point, my sidebar. any advice on how to make the blue go away? far, far away. out goes my obsession with blue pens. suddenly blue writing is just not so appealing. help me, pretty please in pink sparkles? i would offer blue for the gents, but i am bitter.

ben’s friend kevin was here visiting last week. being from oakland, visiting slc for the first time was a bit of a culture shock for the lad.

for entertainment purposes i thought i would share some or his trip highlights, at least in my opinion.

going to the LDS institute on the U of U campus and stumbling upon an ATM machine. it makes sense…. i guess, easy access to your funds so you can give 10% away to the church.

he also made a trip to temple square, alone i might add, where he decided our jesus is bigger than his jesus!

when he went for a walk alone i immediately assumed he was a secret smoker, not that there is anything wrong with that! apparently it was really to see the olympic “art” at the u of “you” stadium, where he was accosted by a very proud utahan. she proceeded to tell kevin her feelings concerning the 2002 winter olympics’. she was absolutely horrified that there will be future winter games held in cities around the globe. she had hoped that the games would end here in slc. after all, it’s a really great state. i only hope he explained to her they are held every four years despite the fact some nutty locals want to keep them in utah forever. duh.

“too old and frail to be put to death”, am i the only one that screamed WHAT, at the radio upon hearing this? i ask you, how is someone too old to be put to death?

hopefully by now everyone knows all about clarence allen’s plea for clemency. just in case you have all been too busy working off those holiday pounds, read here.

allen’s attorneys stated, “executing him would amount to cruel and unusual punishment.” while i am not an expert on executions (and hope never to be) i do think that any execution is cruel and unusual punishment.

so, i don’t know about allen being too old and frail, but i do know he just looks plain mean!

*disclaimer-i do not believe in the death penalty. i only believe in making fun of everything. for those i offend by making light of this subject, i apologize. sorta.